


What a shame we all became such fragile, broken things

by bigsweatersandcuddleweather



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bad Boy Harry, Bad Boy Liam, Bad Boy Louis, Bad Boy Niall, Gen, Innocent Zayn, Multi, Younger Zayn, badboy louis, zayn centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-01-15 21:26:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1319797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigsweatersandcuddleweather/pseuds/bigsweatersandcuddleweather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His writing is all that matters, his way to escape and fall without breaking, shuffled from home to home until he breaks away and meets them. And then he lets himself fall without fear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based of Tumblr Prompts:  
> 17 year old Zayn (chubby cheeks, hoodies, bambi eyes comes new to school and the other boys are 19-20 and immediately fall in love with him. Zayn is always sleepy and one day he falls asleep and somewhere in the school and the boys find him and wake him up and Zayn is all blushing because he likes the boys too.
> 
> Zayn is shy and quiet and likes to write stories and wears glasses and his boyfriend liam will rip the throat out of anyone that looks at him the wrong way.

It’s not like he wasn't used to the whispering and pointed looks that he got, because he was, it’s just that today Zayn could feel them a bit more keenly on his back then he would've liked, telling him that someone had probably done something. Most likely Harry.

Shaking his head to himself he stashed his books into his locker, making sure it was securely locked and his leather bound journal tucked into his arms before taking off down toward the principal’s office, where he knew his boyfriend would most likely be, and he wasn't wrong. Harry sat there, the tattered plaid shirt over his white tee, looking rumpled with a rolled up bandanna pushing back his long curls, looking every bit the bad boy persona that the school had branded him with.

“Harry?” he sighed but couldn’t help and smile softly when Harry’s face lit up on sighting his younger boyfriend.

“Hello love, what are you doing here?” he reached out and caught the loops of Zayn’s jeans, dragging him closer and taking his notebook to set to the side, before pulling Zayn in between his parted legs, ignoring the looks that the secretary was giving them.

 

“Wondering what exactly it was that landed you in here. Is it that hard for you to stay out of this office for one day?” he scolded softly, reaching out and taking one of Harry’s larger in his own petite ones, Harry’s murky green irises watching him affectionately, the softest look that anyone in the school would ever see him, and probably only ever aimed at the lad on his lap.

“It wasn’t even my fault this time babe, honest. I was out smoking a fag and the headmaster comes over, ranting about someone destroying his office. Now normally if it was me you know I would’ve just told him straight up, but I didn’t. I was with you at whatever time it was done. We were in the bathroom, and I had you up against the stall and-”

“Okay, okay stop! You don’t need to go over every sordid little detail.” Zayn squeaked out, his hands pressed against Harry’s grinning lips to stop the flow of words that were feeding the fiery blush on his cheeks.

“You weren’t telling me to stop when I had my hand down your-”

“Harry Styles say one more word and I’m calling Liam and telling him you’re being mean.” Zayn whined, knowing the threat would stick. Harry just rolled his eyes, shifting them so that Zayn’s bum was leaning against his right leg, his head against his shoulder.

“Shouldn’t you be in class babe?” Harry asked, hands rubbing against Zayn’s sweater clad one, knowing the he tended to be colder than most, especially as the weather shifted.

“No, I have a free period. Was going to go upto the library and write a little. Got this idea bouncing around and just wanted a quick second to jot it down.” he murmured, stroking Harry’s palm, making the older lad look down and grin at the ink spiraling down and around the back of Zayn’s hand. He picked up the smaller palm and pulled the sweater back, catching a glimpse of pen marked words trailing higher and higher until the crook of his elbow, spiraling images in his brain written on his arm.

“It seems like you already started the story right here.” Harry teased, lifting the defiled limb, making Zayn blush a pretty pink over those rounded cheeks and pull the sleeve back over his knuckles.

“Couldn’t get to my notebook, I was taking a test.” he mumbled, instinctively reaching for the notebook that lay on the other seat, letting out a sigh of relief when it was safely in his arms, cradled close to his chest.

“Mr. Malik, what are you doing here?” the headmaster’s tone was harsh in shock as he saw one of his brightest students in arms with the last of the four worst hooligan’s that ever haunted his school,  his other three friends having graduated the year before.

“Sir, Harry didn’t defile your office. I was with him all morning and made sure that he went to his classes.” Zayn was quick to stand, as if he had been shocked in the rear, words spilling from his lips in defense of harry who lazily sat there, the cool nonchalant ‘I don’t give a fuck’ look back on his face. Just like it always was with anyone with authority, or anyone who wasn’t his boyfriends.

“Yes, I know that now Mr. Malik. I’ve reviewed some of the tapes and I can clearly see who the culprit and unfortunately it isn’t Mr. Styles. But Mr. Styles, you’d best be on your toes. I don’t want any mishaps from you. You’ve got a long enough record as it is.” the sneer on his lips and the upturned nose made Zayn angry, because this guy was such a prick but Harry simply chuckled, a low sarcastic thing.

“Sure, whatever you say headmaster. But…just a fair warning. You might not want to step into your private bathroom for a while. Unless you have a scuba mask.” Unfolding his long limbs and taking a hold of Zayn’s waist as they leisurely walked out, still hearing the head of the school spluttering and screaming in frustration.

“What did you do to his bathroom Haz?” Zayn asked in confusion.

“Nothing…that’s going to happen yet. But I have a friend who helped me rig it to spew water like a geyser in an hour, but by then we’ll be gone.” chuckling like the maniacal idiot that he was. Zayn could only shake his head and let harry reach for his bag, swinging it onto his own shoulder as they headed toward their lockers, the rest of the school finishing up from their last short periods and ready to head home for the weekend.

“The others are probably waiting outside for us. I know Liam wanted to take us out to some club tonight, but I think Louis wanted to stay in and watch some stupid futball game. God only knows how we’re still with those idiots.” referring to their other three boyfriend, who had all graduated the year before, while Harry was scheduled to graduate this year, and Zayn two years from now.

“Because they love you. And God knows how hard it is to find people to love you.” Zayn grumbled, dodging away from Harry’s long rough fingers that aimed for his sensitive ribs, jogging through the crowds to get away from him.

“Nu-uh, there’s no getting away from me love.” a dark seductive gruff whispered right in his ear, before he was lifted from the waist and thrown over a broad shoulder, pushing the laughter from his lungs and making his sight blur as his glasses were dislodged from his face.

“Harry, Haz, my glasses fell.” he slapped his ass in way of trying to get him to stop.

“Sorry love.” Zayn tried to ignore the way his head was spinning as Harry spun around and then bent down to reach for the glasses and pocketing them before taking him outside, ignoring the way that people were staring as he walked past, mouths moving faster than their legs.

“Harry, I’m sorry. Let me down. Harry, Harry. Hazza, Hazzy, Haz! Put me down, this is mortifying.” he whined, banging on the strong back as Harry simply slapped his ass a few times as he jogged down the school steps.

“What was that? You were what? I couldn’t hear you.”

“Harry! Put me down! I’m sorry.” trying to stifle his giggles, although he would never admit it because he was a man and men never giggle but if you ask one of the others, it was the cutest thing ever.

“Oi, his face is turnin’ red. Put the bloody kid down.” a familiar thick brogue interrupted them and he felt arms hefting him up and seating him on the hood of a car, staying there and lightly stroking the exposed skin of his waist as he rubbed his overheated face.

“Here babe.” a hand softly cupped his face before glasses were sliding back onto the bridge of his nose and the blurriness cleared up, bringing Liam’s tender grin into focus.

“Liam!” he grinned, throwing his arm around the broad shoulders and hugging him, face buried in his warmth and nosing along his vein.

“Hello little one.” chuckling when Zayn huffed and slapped his arm. They all knew that he despised that nickname or any of them that emphasized his younger age and diminutive size but they couldn’t help it. Zayn glared but he was soon distracted by the way that Liam’s arms flexed in the sleeveless denim vest, black fingerless gloved hands still gripping his hips, reaching out to stroke the veins that twisted under his skin.

“Move aside Liam.” Niall hip checked the bigger lad before he could get a proper kiss, taking his place in between Zayn’s spread knees.

“Hey babe.” he grinned, leaning forward fast so that Zayn flinched back, but the pale hand in his hair held him still as pink lips pressed to his, hard but gentle with affection. He grinned as Niall pulled away and reached out to brush his fringe off his face and grinning at him with those pretty blue eyes, but he could never call him pretty, not out loud atleast or else Niall would frown and tickle him until he took it back.

“How was your day then?” Niall asked before Louis grabbed him around the waist and hefted him up, turning around and launching him straight into Harry’s grip, who staggered but held on, kissing his grimacing lips before he could turn his dirty mouth toward Louis.

“Hey cutie. Come give daddy a kiss.” Louis pursed his lips, taking Niall’s place,leaning in as Zayn shook his head and pushed him away.

“Hey, not nice.” Louis glared, grabbing onto Zayn’s waist and pulling him forward till they were pressed flush against each other.

“I never said I was nice. You guys just assumed that I was.” Zayn teased, leaning forward to peck his cheek quickly, which he clucked at, but let it go. standing to his full height, running hands through ruffled dirt coated hair. Probably from driving Harry’s bike over.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked, looking toward the others who were  all talking while simultaneously watching people from furrowed brow.

“Please! Can’t wait to escape this hellhole.” Harry grumbled, heading toward his bike, an indulgent gift from his boyfriends.

“Is there anything that you need from your host house?” referring to the family that was being funded to host Zayn and let him stay. He didn’t like it there, claiming that it was too loud since they had too many people staying there and a lot of fighting and they constantly tried to make Zayn babysit for their babies while they went out.

“Depends on if I’m sleeping over.”

“Ofcourse babe.”

“I’m trying to avoid it there. Their parents are trying to make me babysit all weekend while they go away. Told them that I had plans and they started this lecture that I wasn’t appreciating what effort they were putting in to make me feel welcome and like it was a part of their household.” he shrugged, reaching out for Louis’s hand when he saw it clench into a fist. It’s not like he had a choice on other places to stay. He had worked his arse off all throughout his younger years, while bouncing from one foster home to another, graduating high school early and getting into this prestigious school on full scholarship. Since he was underage he couldn’t live on his own or with a roommate, and the William’s were the only family willing to take him in. He was grateful, but that didn’t mean he would bow down to their every request.

“Forget it then. You can wear some of our clothes. Let’s get going.” Louis grinned one last time, picking him up with hands under his bum so that the smaller lad straddled his waist, carrying him into the car, ignoring the squeaks of protest that were mumbled in his ear.

Zayn willingly crawled into the back seat of his classic mustang, Niall taking the passenger seat while Liam got behind the wheel, Louis straddling Harry behind his bike, shouting about a race back to the house.

“Zayn, you up for a little clubbing tonight?” Niall asked, peering through the rearview mirrors to the brunette who was bent over that constant notebook, jotting down some words.

“Not of age Ni.” he mumbled, pouting at Niall who simply grinned.

“We’ll sneak you in babe. Does it sound like something that you might be up for?”

“Ni, don’t corrupt him. You me and Harry can go hit up some clubs and Louis and Zayn can have a quiet night in. He was talking about resting before his competition tomorrow.” referring to the skateboarding competitions that Louis loved to frequent.

“That’s no fun if we’re not all there.” the blonde grumbled and Zayn felt that familiar churning in his gut. Part of him knew that he was holding them back slightly, with his age and the fact that he was still in school. He tried to keep up but it was hard when they were all so tough and he was just…weak.

“We can go to a club if you want Ni.” he said, reaching forward to scratch at the back of Niall’s gelled hair. His hand was caught and a kiss pressed to the back.

“No, I know you don’t like those kinds of crowds. We’ll be fine lovey.” nuzzling against the slim hand before letting go so that Zayn could sit back safely in his seat.

 

Later that night after Liam forced his lunch onto them and they lazed around for a while watching T.V Liam, Niall and Harry went and got dressed, their jeans tight, Niall in a tanktop that made Zayn want to jump him, Harry in a plain white tee but it dipped down low to reveal his mouthwatering tattoos, and Liam was in that ridiculous tattered denim vest with a wifebeater underneath, everything on them was tight and revealing and he craved their skin.

“Hey, you’ve got a bit of drool there love.” Louis reached over and trailed his fingers down his rounded heated cheeks.

“Can you blame me? I’m dating four of the hottest guys, and when they parade around like that. I’m only human.” Zayn grumbled, setting aside his notebook as Louis reached and hefted him onto his lap, nibbling at the soft skin of his neck.

“Are you sure that you don’t want to go Lou? I don’t mind staying in.” Louis looked down at the petite figure that sat perched on his lap, so unsure even in their presence. He knew that sometimes Zayn felt out of sorts, given their older age and the fact that they were polar opposites from him but they had vowed to each other that they would do whatever it took to make their Zee feel more welcome and to feel their affection, since they hadn’t done such a good time when they had first laid eyes on him.

 

_The chatter in the school was already in motion before they walked through the doors, gossip about the newest addition to their student body, a freshman that was quite possibly the most gorgeous person that anybody seemed to have laid their eyes on._

_"Who is this new kid? He can’t be that good looking." Niall scoffed, tossing the pieces of paper that were his failed tests onto the hallway floor, glaring at the girls who were getting a little too close._

_"Not better looking than me atleast." Louis preened, shaking his head to flip his hair out of his eyes._

_"Ofcourse not Lou." Harry snickered, muttering something about Louis’s backview to Liam who chuckled and hi fived him in return._

_"I heard that you prats." he shouted, kicking his leg at the back of Harry’s knee, sending the lanky careening into the locker. He grumbled, getting back on his feet and glaring at the snickering passerbys who shut up and scurried off to their classes, the bell signalling that they were now late._

_"Come on. We have to get to Higgins class." Niall lead the group into the classroom and straight through to the back as the professor ignored their usual disruption. It was nothing no to any of the teachers and they learned to tune it out. But their entrance was followed by someone else, drawing every single eye to the newcomer._

_They couldn’t stop their jaws from subtly dropping as they watched the slight figure shuffle into the room. He was tiny, to say the least, narrow shoulder hunched forward under the unwanted stares from the people in his class, looking as if he still belonged in secondary school, instead of the college setting with them._

_"Yes? Are you lost son?" professor Higgins asked, looking down at the boy who shook his head and held out a piece of paper, waiting as the teacher’s eyes scanned over the words._

_"New student then. What’s your name lad?" Mr. Higgins asked softly, as if it would stop the rest of the class who were all listening with rapt attention._

_"Zen." they all strained to hear the slight breath that was his name, the noise simply magical as he spoke._

_"Welcome to class Zayn. Why don’t you take a seat next to…Niall! Raise your hand lad!" Paul said cheerfully, not even noticing the disappointment and jealous glances from everyone else in the room as Niall lifted his pale hand high and proud, waving at the brunette who glanced in his direction, the biggest and softest coffee toned bambi eyes being thick framed glasses that magnified the big irises, capturing their attention, and looking away just as fast when he noticed all of the unwarranted attention, especially from the four boys in the back who were watching him like he was prey, so tempting._

_"Alright, just have a seat beside him and we’ll get you some books and Liam will help you get caught up." Paul reassured, patting him on the back before sending him off. He carefully maneuvered through the aisles, past girls who twirled locks of hair and fluttered their eyes in his direction and guys who could only stare in awe because yeah, they were guys but they couldn’t compare next to him._

_Zayn took his seat next to Niall, Liam ahead of him, Louis behind and Harry on his right, avoiding their eyes studiously. They watched as he shrunk further down in his seat, a red flush flooding cheekbones, so high sculpted and perfectly shaped, dainty and sharp._

_"What’s your name cutie?" Niall asked, leaning across the aisle so that his elbow was resting on the smaller lad’s desk, practically leering at him._

_"Zayn?" he mumbled softly, staring down at his lap._

_"Look at me when I’m talking to you. I don’t like talking to the top of someone’s head." Niall demanded softly, surprised when the brunette obliged almost immediately, the blush darkening along his baby fat cheeks._

_"My name’s Zayn." he said, voice not rising a decibel more but his eyes were hovering somewhere between Niall’s shoulder and the window behind him._

_"That’s better. I want to see that pretty face when I’m talking to you. My name is Niall. And these are my boyfriends. Louis, Liam and Harry."_   _gesturing to each lad respectively, all of them nodding, and Harry reaching over for the smaller hand, pressing a kiss to the back of the tan skin._

_"B-boyfriends?" he asked, finally letting his eyes trail to the others, lingering on the tattoos that peeked out along their skin, rather than meet their faces._

_"Yes, as in four of us. Is that a problem?" Louis’s tone was brisk, not in the mood for any kind of judgement._

_"N-no." he stuttered, shrinking back under Louis’s heavy stare, Liam reaching to slap him in the back of the head and shaking his head when Louis gave a wtf look._

_"Gentleman, are you done with your important conversation? So that I may get back to my lesson? Or do you need some more time?" Professor Higgins tried to be serious but he let a grin slide onto his face at the absolutely petrified look on his new student’s face._

_"No, I think we’re about done. You may continue." Liam said, with a wink that had his professor cocking an eyebrow._

_"Thank you, now as I was saying." they didn’t even bother pretending like they were paying attention, watching the pretty boy with the even prettier name as he tried to focus on the board._

Zayn had avoided them for as long as he could after that, dashing out of whatever class he shared with them, head bent and scrambling away as fast as he could, as if they were the plague and contagious.

“I know what you’re thinking Tomlinson. I wasn’t that bad when we first met.” not that Louis was surprised as Zayn’s uncanny ability to discern his every thought. Something he got really good at from watching them constantly and intently throughout their whole relationship, and even before that.

“Babe, you were absolutely scared shitless whenever we were near you. And it didn’t help when we were in all of the same classes.” Liam chuckled, reaching over to muss his hair as he passed by.

“Because everybody in the goddamn school warned me that you guys would kill me. What exactly was I supposed to think?” he whined, lips grimacing as they paraded in front of him, trying to hold back when he just wanted to feel. He was a teenager, for god’s sake, not a saint.

“We’ll be back later, don’t wait up for us.” Liam stated, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to Zayn’s unaware lips, then doing the same to Louis before stepping to the side to let Niall and Harry have a turn.

“Trust me, we wont. I’m going to tire our little one out and we’re going to have so much fun without you sods and you’ll be jealous cause you missed.” smug in his answer Louis stuck his tongue out and grinned wickedly as Zayn elbowed him in the gut, but he wouldn’t mind getting up to some stuff with Louis.

“Well have fun trying to get it up grandpa.” Niall cackled, dashing out the door with Harry and Liam right at his heels as Louis ran after, his fist raised and a murderous expression on his face. Zayn just burst out laughing, clutching his stomach as he watched Louis chase them even when they turned the block, still taunting him from within the safety of the car.

“And what’re you laughing at baby? You’re the only one left here. And you’re left under my complete and total mercy.” Louis grinned mischieviously from the door, practically leering and Zayn’ heart jumped, launching him off the couch and hurtling toward the kitchen, slamming the basement steps to make Louis think he headed down there, and surely when the older lad wrenched open that door to follow Zayn crawled to the cupboard under the sink and crawled in, pulling his knees tight against his chest and pulling the door closed, except for a strip to peek out of. Sometimes he cursed his miniscule height, at only 5’4 compared to all of the others who teetered near 5’7 to 5’9, or 6 feet in Harry and Liam’s case. But at times like this when he could easily hide he approved.

“Come out come out wherever you are Zaynie.” Louis called softly, a creepy attempt at seduction evident in his tone. Zayn muffled his chuckles, hands slapped right over his grinning lips.

“I wont bite…not enough to make you bleed atleast. Come on babe.” Louis seemed less and less keen on this game after ten minutes of looking through the house, huffing and swearing profusely under his breath.

“Fine, don’t come out, I guess I’m going to start eating without you. Your sesame chicken sure does look good though.” and the grumbling in his gut did cry out at those words.

“I hear a grumble.” Louis chuckled, knowing he was close. Zayn saw him tiptoe past his hiding spot, figuring now would be a good time to jump out, which he did, hands latching onto Louis’s ankles and falling over himself in glee as the older ‘tough’ lad squealed and kicked at his grip until he saw who those dainty fingers belonged to.

“You little shit.” he growled, grabbing Zayn around his aching middle and picking him up with ease, plopping him easily down onto the counter with a little oomph. He stayed glaring at the younger lad as he tried to get a hold of himself, peering up at Louis’s glare with his wide eyed pout, knowing that the older lad wasn’t pleased.

“Nope, that face won’t work on me. I’m still angry with you. And just for that, I’m taking your notebook for the night so that you can’t write anything and can only focus on me.” watching as Zayn’s eyes got wide and panicked, and he squirmed in his grip, trying to get away. He wasn’t really going to take the notebook away from the lad, that would be plain cruel, it would be like cutting off one of his limbs, he would cry and make Louis’s heart hurt. He wasn’t a masochist, he just was annoyed at the little guy.

“Well if you don’t want me to take it away what do you say then?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow as Zayn fiddled with his fingers, seeing the way they twitched in agitation and ofcourse he felt bad now. Zayn knew that they would never shatter his trust and undying faith in them by doing something so stupid, but just the thought of being parted from his precious possession hit him with nerves.

“It’s okay, don’t say it. Now here, let’s get some food in that frail body.” he teased, stepping back to grab the carton of fried rice to place into his small grip before grabbing his own spoon and sharing the lot with his lover, standing in between the gap of his knees as they dived in, finishing it in minutes before devouring the rest of the meal like that. If anyone were to pass by the open window and look in they would see a scruffy downright menacing figure towering over a petite lad, but they would see the small smile that Louis allowed as Zayn’s bird fingers picked rice off his shirt and flicked them at his chest, the happiness chiming from under his heavily curl eyelashes as he looked up at his boyfriend.

Later on they migrated over to the couch, Louis choosing a game to play with Stan over the xbox, Zayn curled up under his arm, head perched on his chest and notebook open on his lap, hands moving languidly across the heavily inked pages, crossing as he went and filling in the places where there were gaps. It always seemed a bit messy and dysfunctional whenever he peeked over Zayn’s shoulder but that seemed to be the way he liked it, scrawl in the margins and scribbling along the very top and Louis never argued, just pressed a kiss to the top of his bent head and let him continue.

By the time that the others returned, drunk and stumbling on their tipsy unsteady feet they saw the pair of them curled up in their humongous bed, courtesy of Liam’s father’s credit card…not that he ever checked the bill as he paid it. Clambering onto the soft bed without waking their sleeping lovers they curled together under the huge down stuffed blanket.

<><><><><><>

“What?” Zayn asked incredulously, looking up at his writing professor with too wide surprised eyes that made the wizened old lady cuckled to herself. He was sitting up in the armchair that she had set up in her office, a cup of tea resting in his slim hands, sweaters drawn around his knuckles, too big so it sagged on his shoulders and down his front but the contented cozy sigh that he seemed to give proved otherwise.

“Yes darling. I think you heard me right. Unless you need your ears washed.” she said lightly, grinning as his eyes lost their reservation and lit up like a christmas tree.

“Really? They liked it? They really want more? Please don’t toy with me Ms. D.” he pleaded, but with the way that he was practically vibrating in his seat the nerves of his excitement were taking over his disbelief.

“Yes dear. I sent the paper you handed in to this renowned publishing company that takes in stories from budding authors and they would love to be able for you to submit a new chapter week for their magazine. Now I know it’s not a magnificently huge deal but it’s a good start, don’t you think?” she asked, tilting her head in worry as his shaking wouldn’t stop and she didn’t know if it was from anxiety or happiness. Maybe a little bit of both it seemed.

“Are you kidding? That…that is incredible. I didn’t know that it would even pass, let alone be good enough for publishing. Are you sure they were talking about me ma’am?” pearly white teeth latching onto his plump bottom lip, brows drawing down in fear. This was his life, what he lived for. But no one beside Ms. D had ever written anything that he had ever written. Now it would be shared among hundreds of readers, all with their own ideas and critics, putting down his words, analyzing them. They might not like it, some may even hate it. Was he really ready to let them bring down the one thing that could put a smile on his face?

“I know that it’s hard to take in, but this would be an incredible opportunity for you love. You have a writing style that is so far beyond your years and insightful and completely raw. Don’t deprive the world of your talent just because of the fear of a few naysayers.” reaching forward and capturing his free hand in hers, stroking the tan flesh. It was hard, calloused from years of survival, years that resonate in his words and the tears they brought her as she read them.

“I don’t know…can I think about it?” he asked softly, setting the cup of tea to the side as his phone began ringing, checking the I.D to see that it was Liam calling.

“Ofcourse. Here’s the number. It was Jack Sorenson who called me so here’s his business card and he said for you to give him a call if you want to talk. But please consider it Zayn. Sleep on it and make your decision when you’re more than absolutely sure. Alright?” she urged him away from the phone to look at her. She could see the insecurity still shimmering on the surface of his face and she knew that this would either make him stronger or completely destroy whatever confidence that he had.

“Yeah. I’ll think about it Ms. D. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” he asked, offering her a smile before slinging his bag over his shoulder and vacating the empty building, seeing Liam standing there leaning against the hood of his car, arms crossed and obviously peeved with the stares and lustful looks that clumps of both guys and girls were giving him. Especially the curvy girl that was sat on the roof of his car, something that Zayn knew he despised.

“Hi. Sorry I’m late.” Zayn said softly, seeing the way Liam’s eyes lit up as soon as they recognized the dainty figure that was walking toward him, his own sweater hanging off his shoulders, the bright red clashing with his fair tan skin and the dark shock of hair that covered his eyes. But he kept the scowl on his face, reaching for the the heavy backpack over Zayn’s back and slung it over his own, bending forward and kissing him abruptly, harsh and swallowing the gasp that he gave, feeling his heart thrum in pleasure as small hands leaned on his chest for some kind of support.

“Excuse me, could you get off of my boyfriend’s car? I kind of want to go home.” Zayn turned to the shell shocked brunette who was blushing but he could see the fury behind the embarrassment. As if it was his fault that she embarrassed herself. Liam chuckled at the sassy way his boyfriend’s hand automatically went to his hip and he cocked an eyebrow. He had been spending way too much time being corrupted by Louis.

“Down boy. Put your claws away.” Liam hummed, walking him around the car to open the passenger side door and made sure he was safely strapped in before straightening up, casting a glare along the stragglers, including Sophia who was back standing with her girls, shoulders shaking and hair blocking her face. He would’ve felt bad but everyone knew he was taken, and they couldn’t change him.

“Hi babe.” grinning at Zayn once he maneuvered the car out of the parking lot and away from the dreadful place, but Zayn wasn’t answering him, arms crossed with a glare directed right at his head. Bottom lip jutting out adorably and eyes glaring from under his lowlying fringe and the glare from his slipping glasses just made him chuckle.

“Alright, what did I do wrong?” he asked, ignoring the road in exchange for the better scenery right beside him.

“I don’t like you using me like that to warn people off you. I get that you have your bad boy reputation but I’m a human, not a shield.” he huffed, only mildly annoyed. Honestly he found it so hot how they tended to go completely caveman.

“It’s not about using you as a shield. You obviously didn’t see the looks that people were giving you. I was reinforcing the fact that you were no longer on the market, in case they forgot.” reaching out for the small hand, curling his fingers between the tan ones and kissing the back of his hand, grinning at the unexpected blush that crept up his rounded chubby cheeks.

“Such a caveman. All of you.” he grumbled but Liam could tell that it didn’t bother him as he sandwiched Liam’s hand in both of his and nuzzled close.

“Are you hungry? Up for a bitch of lunch, yeah?” Liam asked, cruising down the roads, snickering at the glares that he got as he cut people off and speeded down the freeway.

“Yeah, starved. Didn’t get a chance to grab breakfast and Harry was had in-house suspension again so we didn’t get a chance to eat together.” leaning back in his seat, just watching Liam as he drove, his muscular free arm gripping the steering wheel, the tendons and veins shifting under his skin, but those warm brown eyes stayed darting toward him, his thumb stroking his hand constantly and affectionately.

“That’s good. Louis and Harry need some of their own ‘space’ today so it’s just going to be me, you and Niall. How does that sound?” it wasn’t off for two of them or even three to need some time away from the whole pack, if they felt like they hadn’t seen each other enough, the others would simply step back and let them have their moment.

“Okay.Can we go see a movie? That new Frozen one came out and I really want to see it. Please?” pleading even though he knew that they would always say yes.

“Zayn, can we see something else? Frozen is such a…a kids movie.” Liam whined, pretending to be reluctant. But he made a mistake by glancing to his right and looking right into those wide doe eyed begging look, complete with jutting lip and scrunched nose. It was always their downfall.

“Urgh, alright. Alright. Just put the big guns away.” he grumbled, maneuvering into a parking spot and shutting off the car.

“You’re the best. Love you.” Zayn jumped over the stick shift and straight into his lap, grinning at him with those eyes and he couldn’t help but smile.

“I love you too. Now come on, before Niall gets annoyed and refuses to come home.” dragging the brunette behind him, toward the booth in the back where Niall was on his phone, scowling as they slid into the rounded booth, Zayn sandwiched between them.

“Took you guys long enough.” he huffed, flagging down a flustered waitress who looked between Niall and Liam like they were the most overwhelming pieces of art, her eyes not even noticing the brunette in between them. But if Liam and Niall noticed her subtly pulling her shirt lower or the way she twirled her hair they didn’t acknowledge it, briefly giving their orders and looking away as if she was barely there.

“Sorry Ni. That was my fault.I went to talk to one of my professors and we sat for tea and I lost track of the time.” attempting to look repentant but nall just snorted, loud and boisterous, dragging Zayn to his side with one arm and pressing kisses along the side of his face.

“You’re lucky you’re so cute.” he grumbled in mock reluctance but smiled as Zayn simply snuggled into his side, stretching out along the curve of the booth so that he could toe off his boots and kick his feet into Liam’s lap, not even paying attention to the looks that they were getting, curling up between two of his four favorite people. It amazed them how much he had emerged out of his shell, from the little shy freshman that they had first met.

 

_"So, Zayn. What’s your next class?" Harry reached for the smaller lad’s schedule, plucking it out of his unaware fingers and glancing it over the second that they had stepped out of Higgins suffocating class._

_"Give that back." Zayn attempted to snatch it back but Harry just grinned, holding it above his head and watched as the miniscule lad jumped to reach it, although it was still way out of his reach. He stopped, stepping back and a blush creeping up his cheeks when he had realized how close he had gotten to the new mean looking lad. He hopped this wouldn’t be one of those cliche moments where the bullies beat him up._

_"Calm down babe. He just want to see if you have any classes with us." Louis said, throwing an arm around the narrow shoulders, pretending like it was an arm rest._

_"Yup, he’s got next period with Liam, then two classes with me, lunch the same time as us, right after that with Lou_   _and then music last period with all of us. You must be smart to be in both younger and older form classes. We’ll show you around the school love.” Harry said, tucking the schedule into his own pocket._

_"Can I have my schedule back please?" he asked, looking down right shaken but trying to put up a tough exterior that made them all coo._

_"In a bit babe. We’ll see you two later, yeah?" Louis reached over and pecked Liam on the lips, the others following suit, even as Zayn stayed watching, a bit awkward._

_"Come on baby." Liam said, reaching for Zayn’s small hand, threading their fingers together and parting the sea of idle bodies that could only stop and stare as one of the most popular guys in the school was holding hands with someone that wasn’t one of his boyfriends._

_Zayn could feel their stares on him and hated the way the blush was becoming a permanent fixture on his cheeks, tried to pull away from Liam’s grip._

_"Stop that. These crowds are going to swallow you up, small as you are." Liam grinned down at Zayn, stopping at their next class._

_" ‘M not that small." Zayn grumbled, grateful to have his own hand back, shoving it into the pocket of his jeans. He was nervous, no one at his old school having paid the slightest hint of attention toward him and now to have all of these attractive and obviously popular lads around him was more than slightly suspicious. His nerves were keeping him on his toes._

_"Au contraire. To me, you are. And to most of the guys and half of the_ _girls, you are. Now come on, don’t want to make you late for your first day of classes.” he ushered him through the open door, leading him toward the back corner, even pulling out his seat and pushing him in, like a true gentleman._

_"Hey Liam, who’s your cute friend?" a girl leaned over the edge of Harry’s desk, her friend doing the same for Zayn who tried to avoid look at her overexposed breasts, which was hard to do as they were pressed to his desk._

_"New, and taken. Now, can you please tuck yourself away ladies? I know you have assets and they’re lovely but a little mystery in the appearance is always attractive." reaching over and wrapping his long fingers along one of the metal rungs of Zayn’s desk and pulling it closer to his, so that they were nearly side by side. He didn’t like the looks that people were giving Zayn, his Zayn, their Zayn. He knew that he wanted the petite boy in the same way he wanted his own boyfriends but he didn’t say…not yet._

_"Damn Liam, you always get the hottest looking guys. Why don’t you leave some for us?" she asked, playing annoyed but they could tell that she partly meant her statement. His polygamous relationship was beginning to look a bit like a cult._

_Because you wouldn’t be able to get them even if they were straight sweetheart.” smirking as the girl blushed bright red in embarrassment and turned around, shoulders hunched._

_“That wasn’t nice.” Zayn said softly, even going so far as the glare at Liam which made the students closest to him gape. No one ever stood up to Liam Payne, nobody even talked back to him unless it was an apology. But Liam seemed to surpass all their expectations and simply grinned mischieviously, leaning until there was only a hairs space between them. He could see the way that Zayn visibly gulped and tried to shuffle back._

_“I never said I was nice little one.” his mint tinted breath fanning over Zayn’s face in an overwhelming rush that had him blinking heavily behind his thick framed glasses in a way that Liam found entirely too endearing._

_Once the class was over he took Zayn by the hand, even though he tried to escape in the crowds, handing him off to Harry and Niall with a grin and a teasing pat on the top of the head. They all handed him off as if he was a toy, a precious glass figurine, something to be taken care of. And they found his quiet demeanor and easily embarrassed pout captivating. It was a unanimous affection shared between the four of them._

And they had, after months of relentlessly pursuing him, each of them taking him on a separate date and trying to ease him into their lives. They opened up about their lives, lives of the rich and ignored, how Louis and Liam’s parents disowned them when they came out as gay, how Niall and Harry’s parents took them in and accepted them after some time. And they showed Zayn that they may have been rough on their exteriors but that with them he would never feel their wrath. He was their soft spot.

And in return Zayn confided in them, recalling tales of being shuffled from one foster home to another, the horrors that he refused to remember stayed deep inside his heart and they didn’t dare delve in case they sent him running away. But they listened as he talked about never having one family and being alone all of his life. They made it their goal to make him feel loved and they were still working on it everyday.

“Sit up babe. Eat and then we can go see that movie. Alright?” Liam asked, patting his thigh and hauling him up to sit properly. He simply shifted so that he was sitting indian style and dug into his plate of chicken like it was his last meal…or his first in a while.

“Babe, what’s the point of a notebook if you still choose to write on your arms?” Niall caught a glimpse of the blurred ink that was smeared across his forearm and the sheepish grin that Zayn gave him.

“I get distracted. Got my notebook confiscated by Ms. Flack again. She hates me.” he pouted, fingers itching for the paper bound book but he knew he wouldn’t get it back till tomorrow.

“Yeah, you can blame Harry for that. Told that stupid fucker not to keep flirting with a teacher. And then she gets attached and offended when she found him fucking snogging the life out of you in her classroom.” shaking his head in between bites of his chicken.

“It was a good snog.” Zayn mumbled, making the two at his sides snicker into their drinks.  

“Is there anything else I can get you gentlemen?” the waitress was back, a grin on her lips as they all took notice of the fresh coat of makeup on her naturally pretty face.

“No, we’re good. Thank you very much.” Zayn made a shoo gesture with his hands, but the waitress simply raised an eyebrow before turning to Niall.

“How about you cutie? Anything else I can get you?” leaning forward to try and give him a more intimate view.

“No, I think my boyfriend spoke for us all. I’m sorry that you can’t fucking take a hint though.” Niall scowled, reaching over and pulling Zayn into his lap, noticing the the flush that crept back up his cheeks out of the side of his eyes and Liam trying to contain his laughter.

“Oh, I’m sorry. How about you though? Got a babe?” she turned toward Liam and he raised a harsh eyebrow, keeping that expression on his face until she got flustered and darted away, so fast that everyone glanced in surprise and some sported concern.

“Come on, we’re leaving.” Zayn huffed, climbing over Niall and dragging him up, reaching for Liam as well and they simply followed along.

“I need to physically brand you two, all of you guys when we go out. Always getting hit on.” he grumbled, glaring ahead.

“Oh yeah? What kind of brand do you want to give us?” Niall purred, once they got into the car, dragging Zayn into the back seat with him, laying flat with the smaller lad sprawled over him. Zayn grinned softly, nosing along his exposed skin, lips leaving a burning trail that had Niall moaning, gripping his jutting hips and physically stopping himself from attacking Zayn’s shy wandering hands. It wasn’t that he wasn’t experienced, they had sex and dabbled in some other activities but he was so shy about doing anything beyond a small peck in public, this was going far beyond his comfort zone.

So he sat back, leaving his hands on the narrow hips and letting Zayn do as he pleased, slim tongue leaving a burning trail along his vein, groans and muffled grunts leaving his lips, no matter how hard he pursed his mouth to stop them.

“I would bite you, right here, so hard that it would be bruised for days, so that everyone will now that you’re mine, and so you don’t ever forget. And then I would do it again once the bite was fading. I would make a daisychain of bites all along your neck if I could, so you could wear my love like a necklace and show everyone that you’re taken. You and Harry and Liam and Louis. All mine.” sinking his teeth right on the vein, sucking greedily and hard, so that Niall let out a gurgled scream, clasping his big hand on the back of his neck, not sure if it was to stop or encourage him. But he let Zayn teeth at his pale skin, licking the wound placidly, feeling the fiery blush that was already flooding those smooth cheeks as the haze left his lust filled mind and he was aware of how…animalistic he had been.

“Sor-”

“Zayn fucking Malik if you say that you’re sorry I’m making Liam pull the car over and fucking you on the side of the road. RIght where everyone can see. Maybe then you’ll stop being so goddamn shy.” Niall growled, arm looping under Zayn’s waist and flipping them easily so that the smaller boy was straddling him, a gasp escaping red swelling lips shaped in a surprised o.

“Stop being so goddamn shy. Fucking love it when you get feisty.” he groaned, bucking forward to make their crotches press together, heated groans falling from their lips.

“Fuck, can you guys not do this now?” Liam groaned, making them both look over at his white clenched knuckles and glaring brows. Zayn snickered, a bit breathily as Niall sat them up, setting the smaller lad carefully to one side, reaching up for his seatbelt and latching him in carefully before scooting to his own side, opening his window and lighting up the cigarette that lay behind his ear. He took a deep breath and blew, making sure to keep the smoke away from Zayn and his weak lungs, he always tended to have a coughing fit whenever he got a faceful of smoke, until his eyes were tearing and his throat burned.

“Alright, so Frozen was sold out, and the next show isn’t till late tonight, so I got us tickets that new Kevin Hart movie. Sorry love.” Liam shrugged at Zayn who didn’t really acknowledge him, fingers tingling with the return to the thoughts that his favorite teacher had given him.  _They want me to write, they want to publish something that I wrote. Someone actually thinks that I’m good enough._  he grinned to himself, reaching for the bracelet wrapped around his narrow wrist, a simple chain that he had had for as long as he could remember.

“ ‘s fine.” he subconsciously reached for Liam’s hand, latching on and letting his mind wander as his older boyfriend led them into the darkened movie theater, sitting on Liam’s left as Niall sitting on Liam’s other side. He let his mind wander, head resting on the broad shoulder. It wasn’t until the starting credits were rolling through that he got that familiar itch in his fingers, the need for paper and pen and words that were flooding his very blood, an addiction that he couldn’t stop. He sighed, clenching his fists and trying to concentrate but the drumming in his ears only seemed to get louder and harder as ideas and scenarios whizzed behind his eyes, swirling in his every thought and darting away before he could even remember them. Without even realizing it he was taking the jacket Liam had draped over him and pulling it over his head, taking out his phone and immediately churning out whatever darted into his mind, breathing deep as he let himself fall into his thoughts, immersing his every fiber into those words.

Liam glanced down suddenly, seeing the dark haired covered. Frowning slightly he reached over and lifted the hood, seeing the brightness of a phone’s glare and frowned further.

“Zayn, who’re you texting?” he asked, reaching for his phone, only to have it out of his reach.

“No one Li. Just writing.” Zayn mumbled, trying to recollect his last few words, ideas stacking one on top of the other, a wild whirlwind of erratic feelings that resembled something close to adrenaline.

“What are you writing? Why can’t you just watch the movie?” it was hinted with a bit of annoyance.

“I will, just let me finish this.” Zayn huffed, fingers moving faster than his lips, totally oblivious to the way Liam was getting more and more disgruntled, alerting Niall to his other side where he frowned at the sight as well.

“Zayn. What are you doing?” he hisses, as people glanced over. Not that he cared about the glares that they were getting.

“Niall I…it’s nothing. Just ideas.” he whined, knowing that when Niall told him off then he would probably be told off.

“Put it away. We’re on a date right now.” he hissed, watching as Zayn pouted and did as he was told, but they could feel his frantic air and how he didn’t seem to be able calm down and it only fired up their irritation.

“Can’t we take you anywhere without you acting like a child?” Liam asked once they were back in the car, driving back home in the chilled atmosphere.

“I wasn’t acting like a child. I was just trying to jot down these ideas. I didn’t cause a scene.” Zayn mumbled, leaning against the car window, the rolling of wheels doing nothing to dull the shaking of his hands, a craving for words and urges to flourish and make another world around him.

“We were on a date Zayn. Us three, as boyfriends. It was fucking rude to us.” Niall chimed in with a distinct growl that made Zayn’s heart pang so he held his tongue. It wasn’t something that he could help, the way his mind worked and warped his whole life around these days where nothing except written words and silences would get him through it all. Once they parked at the house Zayn got out and headed toward toward one of the rooms upstairs, grabbing a random notebook and holing himself up in one of the guest rooms, pen to paper and ink scrawling fast and hard, already in another mindset and place far from the soft bed and dim lights.The rest of the world and its inhabitants forgotten in the fogged swirl demanding his attention of his mind.

When Louis and Harry came home that night, very late that night it was to Liam and Niall curled up in bed and Zayn missing. Frowning slightly Louis left the room and found the pint sized lover curled up in the guest room, head pillowed on his arm and ink stains on his face from being pressed to the notebook. He smiled to himself, the sight bringing him back to when they had first gotten together and he went into his first manic mode that they witnessed. But they gradually became accustomed to his need and passion and let him have his time, making sure to cover him up and bring him food, sometimes feeding it to him when he seemed to be particularly into what he was doing.

“Zee? Love, time for bed.” he murmured more to himself as he crossed the room and nudged the petite lad onto his back, stroking the soft tinted cheeks gently easing the glasses off his nose and tracing the marks they left on his scrunched up nose.

“I got you.” slipping him arms underneath the pliant body and cradling him against his chest, making sure to close the notebook, having learned a long time ago never to try and read it, all of them had learned that lesson.

He maneuvered through the hall and straight toward their room, seeing Harry had crawled into bed right behind Niall, leaving the two other spaces behind Liam for them. He lay Zayn down and crawled in right behind him, drawing the covers over them all, making sure everyone was tucked in and warm before laying down with an armful of one of his favorite people in the world. Reminding him of that very first time Zayn had let them in, had opened up in a similar sleepy state. It was when they began, when four made the shift to five.

 

_It was fast becoming routine for them to look for the freshman lad who had captured their attention the second that they entered the school grounds, stalking through the halls in search of the inky tousled hair._

_And he steadfastly tried to avoid them, coming into class either at the last minute or early enough that he was in his seat before even the professors. It all turned into a game for them, an epic game of hide and seek that even though he tried, Zayn couldn’t avoid. Not when he had each class with either one, two or all of them._

_"So Zayn, how’s our favorite freshman doing?" Louis leaned over the front of his desk, so that his mouth was pressed extremely close to the tan ear, that was slowly brightening red  as he fought to stay neutral._

_"How should I know? Why don’t you ask that poor sucker?" he huffed,_ _trying to concentrate on taking his notes, avoiding the older lad altogether. He didn’t understand their strange fascination with him, and he prayed that it would go away soon. All the unwanted attention wasn’t helping his nerves._

_"I just did. And I don’t like you talking about him like that. He’s not a poor sucker. He’s a cute extremely smart and attractive lad." Louis said sincerely, reaching out with nimble fingers to trail across the collar of his shirt, hooking his finger inside when the tan lad threatened to pull away._

_"Nu- uh babe. Why don’t you want to talk to me? I promise I wont bite, unless you’re into that kind of thing." feeling the way Zayn shivered at the impact of his words, and the way he slyly trailed his finger down the side of his arm, slow, nail scraping along and leaving a trail of eerie goosebumps._

_"I- I’m not comfortable." he had to grit his teeth and physically jerk away from the teasing fingers because God was that a lie and the truth in one juxtaposition of a sentence. He felt so at peace around any of these four lads, but their unwavering undoubted attention on his was what made him uncomfortable._

_He breathed the biggest sigh of relief when the bell rang, but it was short lived as a hand reached down for his, forcibly leading him out past the parted crowds, where the rest of the lads were waiting. It seemed like routine for one of them to grasp his hand and lead him through the crowds, not matter how much he protested that he could. Part of him was grateful because he was still intimidated by freakishly crowded halls that made his breathing hitch and withdraw deeper in his clothes._

_"I’m not a child. Will you let me go?" he grunted, still trying to pull away from Louis’s comfortingly strong and steady grip._

_"No can do lovey. Wouldn’t want anyone to trample over that pretty face before I get the chance to kiss it, now would we?" Niall hummed, leaning over, hands braced on his knees so that Zayn wasn’t met with a rumpled torn shirt, but mischievous icy irises that seemed amused at Zayn’s unease._

_"Don’t you already have three boyfriends?" he asked, still attempting to get out of their grips._

_"Yeah, and they want to do the exact same thing. Everyone in the school does but they won’t get the chance." he hummed, glaring at some of the stragglers who were eyeing them, ushering Zayn into class and taking their seats around him. He just grumbled, not having enough energy to actually put up a fight. They were too distracted with their phones and talking to each other to notice the brunette lay his head on the table and slowly nod off, letting the sub drone on and on about the lesson that they had done yesterday, already stored safely in his mind. But when their attention finally waned from their phones they glanced at Zayn, doing a double take when they saw him fast asleep on the desk , mouth pursed in an adorable pout. Surreptitiously they snapped pictures on their phones, not noticing that they had all done it, and feeling guilty immediately after. The rest of class was spent leaving the brunette to nap, Harry’s jacket draped over his back._

_Somehow in the bustle of the end of the day and greeting their separate friends they lost track of Zayn, only remembering after they had all met up at the car. It only took them a few minutes to find him curled up under a tree, notebook propped at his feet, head lolling on his raised knees, and eyes threatening to fall._

_  
“Zayn? Sweetie, are you alright?” Louis bent forward, hands pressed to his shoulder and jostling him the slightest bit. His nurturing side coming out when he saw the near raw vulnerability at how incomprehensible he was._

_“Louis? Yeah. Fine. Tired.” nearly incoherent_

_"Where do you live love? Let us take you home." Liam said gently, showing a softer side as he bent down to sit on his haunches, reaching forward to brush away that was falling into the amber tinted drooping eyes._

_"No. ‘m okay. I can do it." he muttered, bracing his arms against the tree to try and maneuver up, and he managed, for a few seconds before he started swaying gently, ready to fall back over._

_"Whoa. Okay. Come on then kid. Let’s get you back home. Lou, go and see if you can get his address. I doubt he can give you the right one now." Liam was supporting his whole body as Harry untangled the bookbag from his shoulders, picking him up bodily, despite his half hearted protests._

_"Ssh. It’s alright. Just relax. Go to sleep babe, We’ll get you home safe and sound before your parents start worrying." rocking back and forth slowly to entice him back into slumber, and it worked, all of them watching his eyelids flutter and fall, lashes brushing together as he knocked off, exhaustion taking over completely._

_"Alright, I’ve got the address, let’s get him in the car." Louis said, taking the wheel while Niall slipped into the passenger seat right after making sure Zayn was belted in safely, Liam right by his side._

_"Hey, look at what I have." Niall turned around to see the coveted notebook in Liam’s hands, looking even more tattered and torn in his dirt streaked palms._

_"What’re you doing?" he asked, watching as Liam flipped back and forth through the loose pages, so tempted, wanting nothing more than to_   _immerse himself in their mystery lad’s thoughts._

_"I don’t know. I’m tempted." he mumbled, glancing at Niall who showed the same curiosity._

_"Leave it Li."_

_"Oh fuck it, just a few pages." he grumbled, trying to appease his own starving curiosity, reaching for the first page but was stopped short by the head that fell on his shoulder, dropping lower so that it was pressed comfortably on his chest, a few snuffling sounds and a faint sigh before he fell silent again, fist tightening in Liam’s favorite shirt._

_"You were saying?" he looked up to glare at Louis who was smirking through the rearview mirror._

_"Fuck up." he hissed, hands trailing into the dark hair, smiling at the soft texture, fingers gliding through it easily, rather than his own boyfriends who favored hair mousse more than deodorant sometimes._

_"Oi, we’re here…are you sure this is the right place?" all of their attention peering out the window to look at typical white picket fence, and a family of children running around outside, none of them looking anything like the lad who lay across Liam’s lap._

_"Yeah, exact address on the page. Come on, let’s go see." Louis grunted, heading toward the playing children who looked tempted to run away. They listened and nodded gesturing inside._

_"Yeah, he lives here. They said their parents aren’t home so let’s get him into bed." yanking open the backseat door and maneuvering the limp form so that he could slip his arms under his body, lifting him with more ease than he would like._

_"Louis, there are children staring at me. What the fuck are they staring at?" Niall asked, a slight hint of panic in his tone as he jogged to keep up, Liam carrying the bag trailing behind them._

_"Maybe three of the meanest guys carrying in their sibling, probably thinking that he’s passed out." Liam chimed in, punching Niall in the back of the head._

_"Shut the fuck up you idiots" following a little girl with freckles and pigtails up the stairs and straight down the hall to a small room at the back, seeing only a small bed toward the farthest wall, a side table right beside it and a desk on the opposite wall._

_"It’s small…and dinghy, innit?" Niall remarked, staying in the doorway with Liam as Louis walked forward, tucking Zayn under the thin covers, tugging off his shoes and debating on whether or not to do the same to his jeans._

_"Don’t be a prick Ni." Harry appeared, hovering in the doorway, arms folded over his expansive chest but he took glanced over the interior of the room with critical eyes._

_" ‘m not being a prick. ‘S just…cold. Like he don’t even stay here." Niall huffed, crossing his arms._

_"Alright, that’s enough you idiots. You’re going to fucking wake him up." Louis hissed, but a grin playing at his lips as he reached for Niall, wrapping his arms around the pouting blonde. He may act like a tough fucker but Niall was like a five year old, but only with them._

_"Come on, let’s go before the kids call the cops on us."_

_"Why the hell are they all alone here?" Liam asked, glancing down the hall at some of the eyes that were peering from around the bend._

_"Who knows?" Harry shrugged, about to step out of the room but he lingered, looking torn before his face screwed up in a look they could only describe as determined, making his way across the length of the room in one stride, bending forward and pressing the faintest of kisses on the tan skin,black hair tickling his nose._

_It seemed like a line had been crossed when he stood and looked at the others, all of them sharing a look of seriousness that had promised they would be talking when they were sitting around the table. But for now Niall nodded, waiting till Harry walked back forward to engulf Liam in a hug before grabbing Louis’s hand and dragging him forward, mimicking Harry by brushing his lips ever so slightly on Zayn’ temple, feeling his pulse in that dip of point. Louis followed and then Liam, all four of them staring at the angelic sleeping form in front of them before Louis reached down and tucked him further in the covers, and each of them making their way outside, silent in their own private musings. But it wasn’t a cold silence, subtle touches permeating warmth and understanding be_ ing exchanged.

_This conversation was long overdue and the result would change them after, more than they would realize. It would make things much better than they already were._

_"Um, hi." Liam whirled around, glare already forming at whoever disturbed him from the conversation he was having with his boyfriends. He was beyond surprised to see a shy figure standing before him, sweater sleeves pulled over his shaking knuckles, tremendously wide eyes glancing at them from behind those large obstructing glasses, only seeming to magnify the intensity of his shifting stare, eyelashes curved delicately, fragile just like he seemed standing there, actually taking the initiative to come to them._

_"Hello darling." Liam cooed, reaching over to take his hand, pulling him closer to their tight knit group._

_"Morning Zayn, couldn’t resist my charm, could you?" Niall teased, taking his free hand and dragging the smaller lad until he was standing in between his spread knees, a rosy flush tinting his tan cheeks at their close proximity._

_"Niall, leave him alone." Harry chided, rubbing his oversize palms up and down the deepened valleys of back between Zayn’s shoulders, feeling the muscles and tendons shift as he let himself relax into the comforting touch that confused him._

_"Um, I just wanted to say thank you, for making sure I got home okay. That was…really embarassing." he mumbled almost incoherently, one hand cupping the opposite elbow with his head bowed._

_"Hey, remember what I told you Zayn? Look at me. I don’t like talking to someone’s head. Let me see that pretty face." Niall coaxed him from his curled up position, until those eyes were finally looking at him, timid and determined all at one._

_"Y’alright now? You seemed pretty out of it yesterday." Louis asked, curiously, reaching out to brush the hairs out of Zayn’s face, before he could stop himself, not that he would’ve. He had the urge to touch the freshman like his boyfriends, constantly, like an itch that quickly manifested into a burn._

_Yeah, just didn’t get any sleep the night before. Got caught up in something.” he was squirming now, Louis’s touch reminding him just how many people were around him, all boyfriends. It wasn’t right of him to be touching them like that._

_"Late night out partying? You seem like a secret party animal." Harry chuckled, pinching the narrow dips in his waist until he whined and shook of his touch, unknowingly shifting closer to Niall who automatically wrapped his hands around his waist._

_"N-no. Just got an idea and started writing. Lost track of the time. ‘m not that interesting. C-could you let me go?" Zayn finally turned back to Niall, botttom lip caught in pearly white teeth, the slightest point to the incisors that Niall really wanted to trace with his tongue._

_"Why? Am I making you uncomfortable love?" thumbs digging into the hollows that were his hipbones._

_"No! I mean, yes- well…i mean you have boyfriends. I-I don’t think this is appropriate." growing darker and darker in blush the more he spoke._

_"Don’t you worry about that babe. We talked about it and-" Louis’s words were interrupted by the loud toll of bells, making Zayn whirl around, in both relief and anxiety. He didn’t want to be late._

_"I have to go, I can’t be late." he tried once again to get out of their midst, almost exceeding if only he noticed the look they exchanged, Harry grabbing his waist and tossing him over his shoulder, dislodging his precious books and glasses._

_Harry! I have to go to class, let me go! Wait, my notebook. I need my notebook, please!” he called out in a panic at not having the accustomed feel of notebook in arms. Liam was taken back by his outburst and the frantic look in his eyes._

_"I’ve got it. Calm down Zayn. I’ve got your books and your glasses. But you’re not going to class. We’re going to have a nice day out." Louis said calmly, following Harry to where they were parked._

_"Where? Louis can’t we do this later? I can’t miss class." he argued, giving up his fight when he felt a hand slap over his arse, followed by raucous laughter._

_"Nope. We’re going to take you on a date, with all of us. We’re going to court you the right way." all of them snickered, because when had Harry ever used a word like court._

_"A-a date? I never agreed to that!" if anything he felt more panicked. He was in no way prepared for a date, he looked like a mess for god’s sake._

_"We know. But that doesn’t mean we’re not going to take you. This is us sweeping you off your feet."_

_ "It starts physical and then we’re going to work on our romantic sides." Niall but in after Liam, all of them ignoring Zayn’s protests as they loaded him into the car, all the hearts thumping as a form of connection seemed to bond them all, resurrecting in such a tight space. Chemistry and affection rampant. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His writing is all that matters, his way to escape and fall without breaking, shuffled from home to home until he breaks away and meets them. And then he lets himself fall without fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long overdue and far too long at 15.3k.  
> Please...be gentle because I haven't had the easiest time on tumblr with anons and I know it's kind of not that great but I sincerely did try.

It was a compulsion, an underlying urge that took over until Zayn was completely immersed in words and setting, the climax and character developments that mingled with the right amount of angst and maybe a happy ending, or multiple deaths if his mood was a particularly cynical one. He didn’t know how to explain it to the others the first time that it happened and they had watched him fall deeper into his writing depression, emerging a few days later with bags under his eyes, ink across his cheeks and under his eyes, but the biggest smile on his face that they hoped would stay forever, especially when he looked at them. The same smile that they had first seen on one of their first few dates.

Zayn didn’t realize when he started drifting away from them but it was a gradual effect, not even registering in his cluttered mind that intent only on pencil and paper but the other lads watched as he was like a ship without a mooring buoy, nothing to keep him tethered to them so he drifted out to sea. It started with not coming over to theirs immediately after school, spending longer hours in school with his english professor who seemed to nurture his writing abilities, and then he never showed up at their place, often forgetting to go over or getting out of school too late and ending up back at the host house.

And whenever he was there it was spent solely drafting page after page, locked in place on the couch or the kitchen table, not paying them an ounce of attention as they vied for his attention. In fact it caused him to scowl playfully and head to an empty room where he would lock himself in, only coming out to eat and head to their bed. They weren’t used to not having all of his attention on them and it left them with sour tastes in their mouths that they attempted to chase away with the taste of expensive straight vodka and the smoke of lit joints pushed into each others mouths. After almost three weeks of the gradual shifting it still didn’t seem to register to Zayn that something was wrong, he just needed his own space and time and didn’t think that maybe his boyfriends weren’t okay with that.

 

So they did it right back, driving off with Harry after school, not even looking back at him, ignoring his presence when he was in the house with them, his number on the reject list, going out whenever he went to bed, sleeping wherever he wasn’t or shifting him so that he was on the edge of the bed and they could cuddle with each other, in the hopes of forcing him to notice their behavior and pursue them for a change, but it didn’t seem to do anything.

It sent a pang through the vulnerable edges of their hearts as they watched him interact with other people, people that weren’t them and they further immersed themselves in booze and drugs, reverting back to a state they said they wouldn’t when Zayn said he would be theirs. And the thought of losing Zayn had them scrambling, trying one last time to grab his attention, instead of waiting patiently for him to come back to them mentally, they pursued him even harder, putting all of their best to achieve,not realizing that in their drunken stage they forgotten something very important, to actually tell their love to meet them where they had planned a surprise. And not knowing that Zayn was back at home, silently waiting for the same opportunity.

It was an effort that took Zayn a few days to enact on, watching the way Harry would barely acknowledge him, stalking away whenever Zayn would sheepishly walk up to him, not even glancing at the pained expression he caused on his boyfriend’s face. He didn’t even know if they were boyfriends anymore, there was no more answer whenever he called and they were always leaving him behind in the school yard, much to his and everyone else’s confusion. The mass consensus was that the former bad boys of the school had simply gotten tired of their boytoy and tossed him away, to fade into nonexistence as he had been before. But he needed closure, he needed to know what he had done and try to make it right, somehow. The way they treated him made his insides twist until he couldn’t breath and the choking anxiety and humiliation was making him shake fiercely. So that’s what led him to walk the few miles and up the drive to their house, using his extra key to let himself in.

“Hello?” he called out, glancing around the empty foyer, feeling rather then seeing that they weren’t at home.

“Alright, I guess I’ll just wait for you to get home.” he mumbled to himself, setting his bag in the living room

Their patience was fast wearing thin when all Zayn did was sit around and scribble in that notebook that they saw as the source of their problems. He no longer seemed to even acknowledge them and it hurt them, in a way that they masked with more partying and outings. They didn’t want to sit at home and play house, Zayn wasn’t their child, he was their boyfriend. And if he refused to interact with them then they would appease themselves with each other.

“Zayn? Where are you?” Harry called

When they came home that night, they were absolutely fuming, red faced, clenched fists and fighting the urge to fight with the person they were angry with, Zayn. They had all made plans to meet at their favorite restaurant for an outing together, they had even cleaned up and donned their best suits but the brunette never showed to the restaurant, didn’t answer their calls or texts, left them waiting there for an hour without even a word.

“Zayn?” Louis called harshly, tossing away his shoes with a resounding thud and storming through the house, the others following. They didn’t need to go far, as they found the brunette sitting in front of the open hearth, clad in a pair of sweats with a beanie perched on his head and that stupid ridiculous notebook in his lap. That was what pissed Louis off. The fact that Zayn didn’t seem to pay any attention to them, not when he was busy doing his stupid fucking writing. They would always be second best to an inanimate object.

“Where the fuck were you tonight Zayn?” he demanded, all of them surrounding the figure who could only look at them in surprise and a bit of hurt shimmering in those irises. He didn’t deserve to be hurt. Not like them.

“We waited for you. For a fucking hour in your favorite restaurant and you never showed.” Liam hissed, arms crossed so that his veins bulged threateningly. Zayn’s eyes widened at both his words and his stance.

“But- I didn’t- you didn’t- I didn’t”

“What? What did you do Zayn? Because you haven’t fucking even talked to us lately. Do we not entertain you anymore? Are you not fucking happy? Because all you seem to do is plant yourself in that fucking notebook all day.” Niall practically shouted, getting more inflamed when he saw Zayn bring it to hug his chest, knuckles going tight with the hold he had on it.

“But I tried to tell you, the other night before I left-”

“Save it Zayn. We don’t want to hear your fucking excuses. All you should be saying is you’re sorry. Be a fucking man and take responsibility for fucking up.” Harry said in a monotone, more hurt than angry.

“You insist on trying to act like a grown up and then you go and pull some childish shit like this. If you didn’t want to come then you should’ve spoken up and said so. Honestly I don’t know what we see in you sometimes.” Liam sneered, falling into the defensive jeer, heart hardened against the quivering bottom lip that Zayn bit down on hard.

“But I didn’t fuck up! I haven’t fucking done anything to deserve being attacked like this.” he shouted right back, getting on his knees, finally using his voice as their anger rained down on him.

“You haven’t done anything? How about the fact that you’re such a shit boyfriend. All you do is write and write and you never let us read it and you ignore us constantly whenever you’re here. It’s like we’re your parents, but we’re your bloody boyfriends and I’m so sick and tired of being overlooked by a bunch of pieces of paper that you scribble you crap on.” Niall finally blew up, lunging until he was ontop of Zayn, arms grabbing onto his wrist and wrenching it away from the spine of the book before he grabbed it and tossed it…straight into the open flames.

“NO!” Zayn fought against the legs bracketing his waist, fighting harder than they had ever seen him, until Niall was thrown back and crawling toward his disintegrating work, reaching into the open fire with both hands. The flames licked and wrapped around his delicate yet strong hands and he cried out.

“Zayn!” Louis sprung up and reached over, hefting him up around his waist once he heard his cries of pain, holding on tight as he squirmed and fought tooth and nail, reaching back toward the fire. All of them forced to stare as his glasses fell off and hit the floor with an audible shatter, tears brimming as he watched everything he had ever worked for and his every thought disintegrated along with his resolve.

“Fuck you! Fuck all you pricks. How could you do that to me?” he screamed hoarsely, still fighting as Louis tried to tame him down.

“How could you leave us there? Don’t you love us?” Harry asked, although the guilt was still consuming him at the completely grief stricken heart broken look on Zayn’s tear streaked face, his red blistering hands cradled to his chest as he went limp, until Louis let him down on his own feet. But he just slumped to the floor.

“No. Not now. Not that you just broke my heart. And if you guys weren’t so fucking drunk or high all of the fucking time then you would have remembered that I was invited to a party for all their magazine writers. That’s where I fucking was tonight.” still crying into his swelling aching hands as the four of them looked down on him, realization dawning on all of them.

“They asked me to come by because I accepted their offer to give them publishing rights to a book I had been working on, that book! And I thought that you guys would be happy for me. And I wanted you all to be there. That’s where I thought you were going to be when you said you would see me at our date. So don’t fucking come here and tell me that this is all of my fucking fault you stupid cruel fuckers.” he shouted, gasping for breath as he staggered to his feet,  the weight of his words falling all over and around them, immersing them in guilt and pain. What had they just done?

“Well it would’ve fucking helped if you had mentioned this.” Niall snapped, but it was a heavy heart as it dawned on all of them what they had done.

“I did. I did tell you. But you were all too fucking drunk to even remember I guess. There hasn’t been a single moment where you haven’t been drunk or hungover, high off your asses or even here. You promised. You promised that you would be there.” pained and betrayal as he finally glanced up at them, whiskey tinted eyes glistening through the glossy sheen that flooded his water line and stabbed them all in the hearts.

"Zayn." Louis didn’t know what to say, for once in his life, simply watching as Zayn reached down with shaking hands, hissing as his hands scraped against the floor, scooping up the remains of his glasses.

“You all decided to act like a goddamn pack of pricks because I wasn’t giving you my undying attention? Because I was developing a life of my own? Who the fuck are you anymore?” he asked, glancing at them with bleary eyesight, but none of them could really answer, mouths opening and closing like fishes out of water. Because what could they say? He was completely right and that fact had knives twisting in their guts and flames licking at hearts as they watched helpless as their little boyfriend tried to tame his quivering lip and shaky breathing.

He didn’t bother saying a thing another word as he grabbed his gym bag filled with clothes, slinging it over his shoulder with a wince before walking right out the door, his sniffles and muffled gasps for breath still echoing in their ears as they watched him go, doing nothing to stop him. They didn’t have a right, not after what they did. No right whatsoever.

<><><><><><>

It was a few days after their debacle with Zayn and a few days of him ignoring their phone calls and attempts to see him, that school was back in session and Harry jumped at a chance of cornering the tan lad in the school corridors but Zayn appeared to have come up with a plan for that as well, latching onto his professors in false attempts at extra questions, ignoring Harry’s pleading looks. It was like the roles were reversed and Harry was in the same place they had put Zayn in just a few days ago. He knew that Zayn was hurt, but he didn’t get the gravity of it until he saw his hunched shoulders and the fact that the notebook was missing from his grip. He saw the way that Zayn’s hands would twitch and reach out for the empty space and then realize that it was gone.

It made Harry feel like the absolute worst. Because they all swore to take care of him and keep that look of utter heartbreak and pain off his face, and yet they were the ones to put it there. They destroyed the only thing that made him truly happy, and made him feel worse than any of his foster parents or the kids who used to pick on him in Grade School.

“Zayn. Zayn, please can I talk to you?” he pleaded, finally able to grab onto the smaller boys upper bicep to stop him from veering into the class.

“No, you can’t. Let go.”  diligently avoiding those green irises. The ones that used to build him up with gentleness but now all he could see was the frigid cold detachment as he glared at Zayn that night.

“Not until you listen to me.” he reached out with his free hand to skim his fingers over the frown that marred his features but he flinched, his little boyfriend flinched away from him, making him want to punch the wall, then himself.

“I can’t be late for class. Let go of me.” his tone was firm, still avoiding looking Harry in the eye and the older lad would admit that he missed the happy eyes that used to catch his eyes before turning away bashfully.

I don’t care. I’ll take care of the teachers.” he tried to drag Zayn with him, somewhere private and quiet so that he could maybe begin to plead and beg for forgiveness but he was met with resistance, Zayn pulling back.

“You may not care but I do. This is the only way that I can be successful now, since I’m such a shit writer.”  there was a sniffle that was cut off abruptly, but not before he heard it.

“No! No Zayn, you’re not. You’re absolutely incredible and so brilliant.” Harry tried arguing holding on tight because if he let go he feared that he would never get Zayn back, none of them would.

“Get off of me. You prick. I should’ve listened to everyone when they told me to stay away from you guys, that you were just bad news.” he choked, but never letting the tears fall as he finally wrenched his arm out of the older lads grip and hugged his books to his chest, a gap in his insides because none of them were the familiar worn leather that he had known for so long, and scurried to his class, head down and lips pressed together, leaving Harry behind, arm reaching out for him.

Fuck. He might not forgive us. He might never forgive us and we’ll lose him and we hurt him. We hurt him bad.

He wasn’t mad, he was absolutely furious at himself and the rest of them, this was all their fault. And he didn’t have any way to fix it, none that he could think of. Balling his hands into fists he swerved away from class, calling Niall to come and pick him up. He needed time to think, to tell the others what had happened and come up with a way to make this right. They had to. This was their baby, their little one.

Niall found himself striding alongside Liam as they made their way up the white picket guarded pathway, toward the too clean cut house that didn’t look anything like a place Zayn would live, and they knew he wouldn’t if he had his choice. It had been a week since their face off and Zayn walking out, and Harry had had three separate meltdowns, two of them resulting in broken windows and bruised knuckles, the last resulting in an overnight stay at Juvie and his parents needing to go and bail him out, the emotional toll was weighing on him, as he was forced to see their little lover every day, see him avoid and reject him with every gesture, and then Zayn completely disappearing and not even showing up at school the rest of the week.

“What if he wont see us?” Niall asked, pulling the cigarette from Liam’s lips as he turned to look at him, taking a deep puff before stomping it out under his booted foot.

“We’ll stay here until he does. Wait here or scale the wall into his room.” Liam said plainly, as if it was that simple. And to him it may have been, but this was Zayn they were talking about. He was good at hiding and avoiding problems, and normally they would attempt to solve the problems for him but they were the problems this time.

Niall reached out, clenching his fingers into a tight fist before tapping on the door, once, then twice. Nerves escalating in his stomach he reached over for Liam, needing some assurance, some strength because he didn’t know if he could walk away without Zayn.

“Hey, it’ll be alright Ni. Don’t worry.” Liam murmured, tugging Niall closer with a kiss pressed to his temple and a quick one on his lips that left Niall’s head spinning as the door was opened by a small woman, blonde haired piled on top of her head and a cautious look on her face as she cracked the door to peer at them.

“Can I help you?” not exactly welcoming. Niall raised an eyebrow, glancing at Liam who had already slipped into that look of utter indifference.

“Is Zayn here?” he asked, hands tucked into his back pocket.

“He’s not here. Hasn’t been here in more than a week.” she said, lips pursed in a way that told them that she didn’t like it, or them for that matter.

“What do you mean he hasn’t been here? Where is he?” Liam asked, standing up straighter from his slouched look, a hard look on his face. She seemed to shrink away, and attempted to shut the door on their faces but Liam’s foot made it’s way in the doorjamb.

“Where is Zayn? Because if he’s not here than isn’t it your job to know?” he hissed, leaning in close, radiating anger that made the other woman shrink back.

“I don’t know where the brat is. Came home one night blubbering and then he got angry when we asked him to watch the kids, said he was leaving and not to expect him back anytime soon, packed some things and left. So you and your thug friend can leave.” forcing her body against the door until it slammed shut in their faces. Niall turned to Liam, ashen and shaking his head.

“That’s not possible. Who else does he know? Where the hell is he staying?” Liam said to himself, taking Niall’s hand and dragging him back to his car, reaching for his phone and tossing it to Niall as he started the car as he thought deeply.

“Who should I call?” he asked, glancing down at the slick screen, all of their faces emerging as he clicked the lock button, Zayn’s face right in the middle, hands cupping Harry and Liam’s face and lip against Niall’s head, grinning manically, that smile that he sees crashing to the pieces as they all hovered over him, their words shattering him into nothing.

““My Parents.” Liam replied reluctantly, thin press set to his lips.

“But Liam-”

“I know. I know Ni. But where are we supposed to look? The only people he hangs out with remotely in school when Harry isn’t there is are those brothers, Anthony and Danny, and we don’t know where they live. And Harry can’t risk getting caught breaking into the records again or else the principal is threatening legal action and fuck it if his parents don’t fucking kill him. As much as I fucking detest them they’re the only ones who have the resources we need. Alright? We’ll take care of it Ni. We need to.” the last part more to himself as he thought about the absolute shitheads they had been, practically isolating Zayn, the pained expression on his delicate beautiful face as they drove away from school every day without him, or the stuttering unsure voicemails he left on their phones, tentative and so painfully shy, he wondered when that bashful frightful shy came creeping back, swallowing the ecstatic cheery lad they had pulled from the inner recesses of his mind.

Okay, okay Liam.”Niall crooned softly, seeing the way Liam’s chest heaved in anxiety, a habit that he picked up from Zayn. He grabbed onto his boyfriend’s hand, trying channel the love into his soft gestures, realizing that they were all falling apart at the seams, knowing that they needed Zayn back more than they actually realized. He only hoped that they got him back before they fell to pieces, more than they currently were.

He offered support in soft kisses to Liam’s neck and chin as his older boyfriend  called his estranged parents, staying stiff and cold as he asked them for a favor and gave the names of the boys he was looking for.

“Thank you Liam.” Niall murmured, top toeing so that he could press his lips against the growing stubble along Liam’s jaw.

“What for?” he asked in surprise.

“For calling your parents even though you can’t stand them. For swallowing your pride and trying to get Zayn back for all of us. Even though I should be doing it. This is all my fault. If I hadn’t have thrown his notebook into the fire.” with a shiver and sagging of his shoulders because he remembered the look of horror that washed over Zayn as he registered what had happened, then the pit of guilt that grew as he watched the smaller boy fling himself toward the open flame, burning his own dainty delicate palms.

“Hey, no Ni. This isn’t just your fault. It’s all of ours. Including Zayn a little. We need to work on our communication and we were assholes to him and just…it’s not only your fault. Understand.” Liam said firmly, turning so that he was standing in front of Niall, stooping so that he could glare furiously serious into his boyfriend’s eyes, trying to make him understand so that the weight of guilt would ease.

“Yeah, I guess. It was still a fucked up thing and I need to tell him how sorry I am.” he murmured, submitting into the arms that Liam wrapped around him.

“I know, we all do.” Liam said sternly, walking them toward their car, only thing left to do was hope that his parents would get back to him as soon as possible.

<><><><><><><><>

They realized that the call to Liam’s parents was for nothing when Niall got a call from his mate the very next day.

“What the fuck happened?” Niall’s eyes were bugging out as he picked up the call from his best mate, hearing something that he never thought possible.

“Well is he alright?” the blonde was already getting up, hunting around till his keys came to hand and barreling down the stairs and out the door.

“I don’t give a flying fuck. Go down to the office and see. Sean, I will fucking dropkick you in your fucking throat, make sure he doesn’t leave.” they all followed behind as he slammed himself into the car and turned it on, already backing out of the drive before Louis could get fully in.

“Niall!” he growled.

“Shut the fuck up Louis.” Niall shouted, still in the middle of listening to whatever the other person on the other line was saying, before barking more threats and tossing his phone in the cup holder.

“What is it Ni?” Louis asked, as the blonde tore down the road, honking at the cars in the way.

“Zayn’s been sent to the principal’s office for getting into a fight.” he bristled, as he saw Louis and Harry’s jaw drop, while Liam cursed vehemently under his breath.

“Who the fuck touched him?” Liam hissed, reaching for his own phone, ready to chew out his old mates. He made sure to tell them to keep an eye on him when none of them were there.

“No one. He threw the first punch. And the second and the third. According to Sean he proper kicked Stan’s ass.” peaking Louis’s attention at the mention of one of his old  ex-friends.

“What the fuck did that fucker do?” Louis fumed, as they got closer to the large gates of the school.

“I don’t know but we’re about to find out.” barely able to pull the car into park before hopping out and storming through the halls of their former territory, ignoring the people who were looking at them and quickly moving aside to make way for their anger.

The secretary groaned and glared as she saw the four boys who made her life constant hell stormed into the room.

“Can I help you boys?” her tone nothing but hostile, an odd clash with her hospitable words.

“Where is Zayn?” Liam asked, forcing himself to reign in his anger. They’ weren’t going to get anywhere with force, especially not after the way they caused hell in her life.

“He’s seeing the principal with his host family.  The principal does not want to be disturbed in this serious matter.” she said stiffly.

“Can you atleast tell us what happened?” Liam pleaded, not even caring how pathetic he looked. He needed to know if Zayn was alright.

“What happened?  You’ve corrupted such a sweet innocent lad, turned him into a godforsaken hooligan. He went up and punched Mr. Lucas and kept on beating him until school safety could pull him away. Such a good lad with so much potential, and you’ve ruined that for him.” she hissed, feeling angry that these no good men had done what they did to that poor kid, turned him into a mess and then had the nerve to come barging in here.

She didn’t get the chance to voice her anger at them before the door to the office opened and an angry set of parents walked out, followed by their little Zayn, and their blood levels nearly killed them as they took in his battered face. Blood was still dripping from his split lip and from his nose as well, a darkening bruise pressed right to his thinning cheek and a cut on his forehead. Someone hurt their Zayn. Someone dared lay their hands on their boyfriend.

“Zee?” Harry reached out, yearning to touch but the big bear of a man laid a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder and directed him behind his back.

“I don’t know who you are but Zayn is no longer aloud to see his friends, as he’s now grounded for the rest of the term. So I would like it if you would stay away from him. He doesn’t need anymore bad influences in his life. You came here to study, not beat up the students. You’re lucky it was only a suspension and not complete expulsion.”

“Piss off. You’re not my father. You can’t goddamn ground me. So take the money that you’re being paid and don’t ask me to babysit your goddamn kids just because I’m not in school school.” Zayn spat at him, wrenching his shoulder away from the huge grip and stomping out of the room, not even sparing a glance back at his boyfriends…or ex boyfriends.

“Spoiled brat. Doesn’t appreciate what we do for him. Gone all day and night, rebellious from all those days on the streets with hoodlams. He needs to be taught some discipline.” the wife huffed, speaking half to herself and half to the lads who had witnessed the scene, trying to assuage the tense awkward situation.

“Did you ever think that maybe he was provoked? Maybe he was just standing up for himself.” Niall snapped, hands clenched in anger, surprising all of them. It was usually one of the others who tended to blow up the easiest, but Niall was usually the most positive of them all but his drawn eyebrows and the quickening red flush that was creeping up his neck had them all flinching back.

“Violence is not the answer. We have said time and time again that we do not condone violence in our home. It was one of the first rules that we laid out. He has been becoming extremely volatile these past few days, staying out and up at all nights. He doesn’t mind his curfew and he’s even come home drunk a few times. I don’t think that we feel safe with him in our home anymore.” the mom continued, looking up at the principal who nodded sadly.

“I’ll have to get in touch with the housing foundation and see if we can find someone else willing to take him in. If not…he’ll just be pulled out of the school and sent to a foster home. Such a shame, with his talent.” he shook his head in regret, because the small lad really was the smartest lad that he had ever seen, especially for his age, and all of that would be wasted in the public school system where he would be clumped with students based on age instead of intelligence.

“Whatever you have to do, I’m sorry that it didn’t work out. I would really appreciate it if you could get him out of our home as soon as possible.” the dad said, not even looking the least bit regretful, but the boys were positively livid, Niall’s veins were about near ready to burst. But Louis thought up a bitter idea, speaking before any of them could attack.

“Wait, headmaster. We would be willing to house Zayn, if it’s possible.” trying to appear polite and refined, calling on years of his parents lessons to try and appear like he’d matured.

“You, Tomlinson?” he asked incredulously, looking at the grease stains on his cheeks and the ripped denim that clung to his legs.

“Yes sir. I know that I look a mess but I have my own small house not that far from here. He can get in and out easily, no one will disturb him from his studies, he’ll have his own room and he can move in as soon as he needs to. Since he has been deemed to unfit to live with these people.” stressing the last two words with a nasty glare at the couple who were edging out of the room awkwardly.

Astonishly it seemed like the headmaster was actually contemplating their offer, eyebrows furrowed and hands clenched together.

“I would need to notify the board about this abrupt change, and Zayn would need to agree which he seemed quite reluctant to do, but it’s either that or back to a foster home. And then we’d need to send someone over to make sure the arrangements are satisfactory. SInce it’s such short notice I will go over and make sure that everything is in accordance with the standards. Alright Mr. Tomlinson, we will see if your request will be approved. I will meet you at your address in exactly one hour. Please leave it with my secretary and see yourself to make the necessary arrangements.” he nodded and closed his office doors behind him as Louis cheered, fist raised in the air. triumphantly.

It was a mad rush after that to Louis’s place as they all ran frantically, vacuuming and making the guest room suitable for their Zayn, sending Harry out to bring stuff to stock the fridge with and trying to stop Liam from baby proofing the house.

“Get rid of the beer! Stash it in the basement. Take the cigarettes off the table and for gods sake Harry get your shoes off the couch.” Louis growled, scouring the house for any last minute things that needed to be stashed away, deeming the house decent only seconds before the doorbell rang, opening it calmly to reveal the headmaster. They all watched silently as he made a thorough inspection of their home, going into the guest bedroom, inspecting things like their movies, and looking through their cabinets. Louis had to clench his tongue and hold onto Niall so that the both of them didn’t hurl their sharp tongues cruel words at the older man who was looking for some flaw.

“Everything seems to be in order Mr. Tomlinson. When’s the soonest that you will be available to house Mr. Malik?”

“As soon as you need. Today, even. If you’d like.” Liam butt in, grinning pleasantly just like his father taught, a glimpse of teeth and trying to appear sharp in the eyes. It seemed to do the trick because the headmaster nodded, taking down Louis’s number to contact.

Now it was only time to wait and see if Zayn would come. And if he didn’t God only help him because he wasn’t going to be there anymore.

“I’m only here because I have no other choice, never out of choice.” the words that filtered through their ears before they could even register that Zayn was there, right there in front of them, a duffel bag clenched tight in one petite hand and a bookbag over his shoulders with books laden in his one free hand, hair peeking out of the beanie as his fatigue ridden eyes glared at them, icy frigid cold and deadly angry.

“Yeah, we know. Come in.” Niall waved his hand, stepping to the side as the slender shoulders curved forward and he shuffled in, avoiding looking at any of them.

“I’m guessing that I’m in the guest room?” keeping his eyes firmly in his feet, but his tone wasn’t the soothing soft flow that they were familiar with, simply anger infused steel that made them all cringe.

“Yeah, let me get your bags-” the bags that he reached for jerked out of his grip with an accompanying growl.

“Don’t fucking touch my stuff. Or it might ‘accidentally’ fall into an open fire.” stomping past all of them and up the steps, knowing the layout of their place enough to find his way to the cold unused guest room, closing the door with a resounding click instead of the bang that they all anticipated, all noises ceasing after that, the downstairs still a jumbled mess of nerves and tension.

“Well, can’t expect a warm hello right away, can we?” Liam asked, even though he knew that was what they all had been hoping for.

“Just give him time. We fucked up really bad.” Harry hummed, sprawling out on the couch, Niall spooning him from behind and mumbling nonsense against the back of his neck.

“Come on, let’s get some sleep.” he sighed, reaching down and yanking the both of them up, trying to stay quiet as they tiptoed past Zayn’s silent space and into their own bedroom, the silence and empty space in their bed was cloying thick, as the one they wanted was in the next room over.

<><><><><>

They were always pondering on whether having zayn so close was doing more harm than good. It was the ultimate nightmare, to have him this close, but never to hold him or be as they used to, to feel his anger and pain in every chance accidental glance. But maybe they deserved this. This was their punishment for taking away the one security he had allowed himself.

When he got home, usually past eight he would clump up the stairs and straight back into his room, locking the door until morning when he would have to do it all over again.

They attempted the calm and patient tactic, making breakfast and waiting for him to get up but no matter how early they were up he was already gone out the door, and no matter how hard Harry tried the brunette lad avoided him like a plague, deadly and destructive. And that’s exactly how Harry became in school, starting more and more fights, in obvious places that he knew Zayn would hear about and possibly see. But he never came to check on him like he normally did, shaggy head leaning on the door and thin arms crossed in false annoyance but Harry could always see the genuine worry and anxiety that his fighting caused the lad. The vague spaces in his heart were growing and he dealt with it the only way he knew how, lashing out.

It wasn’t any easier for the other lads as they had their own battles to confront with. No matter how close Louis parked to the school in the hopes of catching Zayn in order to offer him a ride home he was always forced to watch their little boyfriend run out the door, both arms wrapped around the books that always seemed to weigh him down, shoulders hunched and glasses reflecting the shine of the sun so he couldn’t see the absolutely shut off blank stare that he knew was there. He forced himself to watch torturously as Zayn always ran off with that Danny bloke, hoping into the car with him and waiting for a third lad, most likely Danny’s brother to come before they left, Zayn not even glancing in his direction although he knew Louis was there, he knew and he simply acted as if he wasn’t, just as they had been doing to him. Now Louis knew the feeling of abandonment because he felt the utter betrayal as Zayn left. And it didn’t do anything to even slightly staunch the guilt, only further intensifying it.

“Zayn? Zee? Will you come down for dinner?” Liam called through the door one evening, a plate in his hand. There was no answer, not that he was expecting one. Zayn rarely interacted with them.

“Please, look Zayn, I know you can’t stand us, I get it. If I was in your place I wouldn’t either. But I’m going to leave a plate here for you and I do hope you eat it. If not for us then for yourself.” he whispered, setting the plate on the floor and taking a step back, followed by a few more until he was out of sight of the door. He was more than tempted to go back and peek, to watch for the brunette, to see his expression, even if it was an annoyed on, anything other than that blank stare he had perfected when around them. But he was determined to get back the trust that they had ruined.

When he came back a few hours later it was to a cold full plate and a picture of the two of them, one he knew that Zayn had framed on his bedside, ripped down the middle with an x over Zayn’s face. He didn’t know what it meant but it had his hands shaking as he carried the plate back downstairs and him curling up in Niall’s lap until the tremors that shook his shoulders stopped and Niall’s arms stayed firmly around his waist, anchoring them both to the ground.

<><><><><>

“We’ve been patient. We’ve been more than patient. It’s been two weeks. When can we just jump him and beg for him to take us back?” Niall whined a few days later, burrowing against Liam’s arm.

“He may take us back but that doesn’t mean he’ll forgive us. We need to give him time and just keep trying to be be there for him.” Louis was the proverbial voice of reason for once, all of them hushing when they heard the door open. There were sniffling noises and the sound of shuffling feet. And for once they didn’t hear him rushing away upstairs.

“Zayn? Love?” Louis called tentatively, squirming out from under Harry’s arm and creeping to the doorway where Zayn sat hunched up next to the door, phone pressed to his ear, teeth digging into his fist and eyes scrunched as if the other person’s words caused him more pain than he could bare, free hand wrapped around his meager stomach, the skin concaving on bones as he shirt hung too loose. His hair was pulled back under a beanie that none of them recognized and all they could think at that point was gaunt, that was the only way to describe him. That and trembling because he was shaking as he crouched on the floor.

“Yeah, I- yeah thank you but- No…it’s an honor. I don’t want it!” he practically shouted into the other end of the phone,head pressed to his knees as they watched with no other desire than to pick him up and put together the pieces they had shatter so irrevocably.

“I’m realizing that my writing is not something to be proud of and I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t blow my head up with false hopes and expectations that will lead to nothing but disappointment. Please, give it to someone else. All I want is to forget and move on with school.” they heard him mumble, not even waiting for a response as he hung up and let his phone fall from slackened fingers. It broke their spirits to see him so desolate, head turned to the wall and just staring at it.They don’t understand what the phone call had to do about except his writing and they knew that they had probably ruined and demolished every bit of self esteem and confidence they attempted to build, ruining him in his own eyes.

They must’ve made a noise because his head shot up, red eyes and swollen eyelids meeting the four set of eyes that peered from around the corner, seeing him in his shame, the moments he wished to hide away from the world.

“No, wait Zayn!” Niall called as the smaller lad made an aborted hiccup/ whimper, sorrowful irises flashing in panic as he scrambled to his feet with his gym bag in hand and straight out the door, taking off faster than any of them could comprehend, but Niall was darting forward, taking off after him, a blur of blonde that quickly caught up to the blonde from where the others were running lagging behind, but then he suddenly stopped, a hand over his mouth and tears welling in his eyes.

“Zayn, please! We love you!” Niall called out hoarsely, but it only seemed to spur Zayn on in his escape, turning the corner, hands pumping as his thin legs moved his body further and further away from them.

“Niall? What is it? What did he say? What’s wrong?” they all crowded around their blonde boyfriend, giving up on chasing Zayn as Niall’s bottom lip quivered and the tears seemed so close to tipping over.

“H-he said that he loved us and that that was the worst mistake he’s ever made.” their winces didn’t help him as NIall came closer to a meltdown. It was the first time he had ever told him that he loved them, and he didn’t reassure him that they felt the same, he didn’t try hard enough to hold onto him and now he was fleeing, with a broken heart and doubting if the affection they even had for him was real.

“There was nothing more that you could do Ni. You know Zayn as well as we do. And he’s stubborn and emotional but so passionate and if he’s in love then he’ll come back. He will come back and we will wrangle him into our bed and hug and kiss every part of his small body until we can show him how sorry we are and how much we love him. Alright?” Louis reassured, taking Niall’s hand and with his free one wiped away the waterworks that threatened to marr his pretty boyfriend’s face.

“Isn’t this when you usually say something corny and played out, like if you love something let it go, and if it comes back to you then it was always your?” Niall sniffled, glancing up at Harry whose furrowed brow softened and he chuckled, leaning forward to press a kiss onto the smaller blonde’s head, then once on Louis who reached up to cup his face affectionately, Liam encompassing them all in his grip, although it didn’t feel complete, perfect without one small head wedged right among their huddle. THe only thing they could do now was wait and hope he loved them enough to return.

<><><>

It was well past three in the morning that they fell asleep, only for something to happen that brought Liam out of the comforts of his bedroom and the three lads whose warmth he had immersed in, dragging himself toward the door where someone was knocking rapidly, urgently.

“Who is it?” he muttered, muffling his yawn behind heavy hands.

“Li-Li.” the pitiful state of voice was like frigid water down his back, shocking him from his half sleeping daze, scrambling to undo the locks on the door and wrenching it nearly off it’s hinges.

“Zayn?” surprise giving way to massive waves of concern as his little boyfriend- ex-boyfriend stood slumped over on the stoop, hair plastered this his forehead from the rain that was pouring, teeth chattering as he shivered in the thin Henley he wore, one Liam recognized as Louis’s.

“I’m sorry. So s-s-sorry. I didn’t know t-that it would c-cause all that trouble. I di-didn’t know that it would cost me y-you guys. D-don’t want it. W-wa-want you guys more.” he pleaded, falling to his knees on the concrete with a resounding thud that sent jarring winces to Liam’s own knees. But Zayn didn’t even seem to notice, so far in his own head that he simply wrapped his arms around Liam’s calves, face pressed in the dip between the two knobbly knees.

“Zayn. Baby, come on. Don’t do that.” the moment of surprise vanished when he felt the shivers that shook Zayn, attempting to pull him up.

“No. Ple- please. Don’t make me leave. Promise. Wo-wont make you mad. Ev-ever. T- take me back. Liam.” he was making these pitiful keening noises as he sobbed out Liam’s name, holding on even tighter as Liam attempted to pry him away, trying to look at his face.

“Not leaving. You’re never leaving. We would never make you leave. Can I carry you?” he asked desperately, attempting to crouch and shield him from the fierce winds. All he got in return were muffled sobs and arms that would just not let him go.

“Liam? What’re you do-Zayn?” Louis’s sleepy tone dropped when he opened his eyes and saw their little boyfriend- ex boyfriend latched onto Liam, tear stained and shivering in his soaking wet clothes. “What’s wrong? Is he alright? Is he hurt?” Louis crouched over his vulnerable position, shielding him from a majority of the whipping winds, hands hovering over the quivering set of shoulders.

“I don’t know.” Liam said desperately, reaching behind his knees to try and pry Zayn’s finger apart but he just hiccuped and held tighter.

“Love, are you drunk? What’s wrong? Who hurt you? You need to tell me so that I can make it better. Why are you crying darling?” Louis coaxed, fingers lingering over the curves of depressed jagged jawline, the hints of baby fat still there but most gone to a gaunt face that was still eerily beautiful. Zayn shook his head, chest heaving for breath as he shook his head over and over again, words failing him.

“Come on, it’s absolutely freezing out here. Let’s go inside.” tentatively wrapping an arm around his waist, fingers digging into the sharp jutting hips for a second, just long enough for Zayn to gasp and his grip to go slack for a moment, enough time for Louis to heave him to his feet and usher him in out of the downpour.

“Zayn, are you still drunk?” Liam’s eyes widened as he turned away from locking the door to see Louis leaning in, nose pressed to the nape of Zayn’s exposed neck. Zayn choked on suppressed sobs, absolutely trembling from head to toe, hair clinging to his forehead and draping over his eyes as he latched onto Louis’s hand, almost seeming afraid to let go…or be let go of.

“Sorry. P-please do-don’t be ma-m-ad.” he sniffled, gripping onto the arms that Louis wrapped around his waist, blunt nails gripping like cats claws. Louis glanced up at Liam who was watching Zayn carefully, helplessness a feeling that he hated. But that’s what he was right now, with Zayn drunk and absolutely hysterical.

“Zee, listen to me. We are going to go upstairs, alright? We’re going to get you in a hot bath and changed into warm clothes, then cuddle you until you feel better, do you want to do that?” Louis asked softly, but his words were lost as Harry and Niall stumbled down the stairs, adding to Zayn’s building anxiety as fresh sobs wracked his small frame, reaching out for the two older lads.

Zayn? What are you doing here? What’s wrong? Darling why are you crying? Who hurt you?” Harry asked, crossing the room in two bounding strides, gather Zayn in his arms, letting the thin arms loop around his neck in a suffocating grasp that would’ve been uncomfortable if he wasn’t rejoicing in the fact that Zayn was hugging him, willingly touching him for the first time in weeks without flinching away.

“Y-you did. B-but it was m-my f-f-fault. So sorry. Please, t-take me back. C-can’t get happy anym-more.” he hiccupped, making all of them want nothing more than to coddle and placate him, if only to get the tears to stop.

“No. No lovey it was all our faults. We were so mean, we didn’t show you that we loved you, we didn’t support you when you were so busy with your writing and getting recognized.” Niall tried to hush his doubts but Zayn fiercely shook his head from where it was buried in Harry’s shoulder.

“D-don’t want to write anymore. S-stupid for ch-chosing writing over you. Bu-but want you guys more. I w -wont write anymore, make you breakfast ev- every morning, blow you wher-ever you want, anything. please.” his speech interrupted by hiccups that split words and their hearts. They never wanted him to choose between something he loved and people he loved. It was cruel, because writing was all he had when he had no one to love, and they realized that he thought that by choosing to write, when he thought they didn’t mind made them angry that he lost himself the one thing he’s always wanted and that was love.

And in reality that was what they were trying to subconsciously do, make him choose between spending every free moment with them, or taking some time and letting himself get lost in old habits.

“Come on babe. Let’s get you out of those wet clothes” Louis muttered, rubbing his back as he shivered violently, going willingly into his grip, sniffling as he buried his frigid nose into the crook of Louis’s neck, the others following behind quietly talking to each other, not that he noticed.

Louis stood him in the middle of the room and they all shuffled around, Liam to start a warm bath while Harry tenderly pulled off his shirt, followed by the skimpy tanktop, his large hands caressing the frigid tan skin that erupted in goosebumps at his touch. Niall came back with a bundle of clothes he pulled from random piles, sticking a few towels in the dryer as well. They somehow got him stripped down and settling in the tub in his frantic panicked state, watching discreetly as his eyes darted from one to the other, staying stiff under their eyes like a spooked deer waiting to bolt at the first sign of danger.

“Liam, let’s go and make him something to eat, alright?” Harry muttered, tugging on his arm to drag the large boy behind him, trying to dim the cluster that surrounded him.

“How are you now darling? A little bit warmer?” Louis asked, crouching down beside the tub, reaching for the shampoo to squirt a dollop in the palm of his hand, before perching on the edge of the tub and lathering the suds with the charcoal tinted hair, gentle but firm as he attempted to massage the thoughts from his whirling mind, wondering what on earth was going through their little ex boyfriend’s head that had him so emotional.

“Yeah.” it was faint, and he wouldn’t look up to meet their eyes, his head facing the murky water.

“That’s good darling. We’ll get you warm and go downstairs, have a nice cuppa and talk. Alright lovey?”

“I’m sorry.” it was so silent he almost didn’t hear the tremble in his voice but he knew the words that echoed dimly in the bathroom.

“Why? Why are you sorry love? You’ve done nothing wrong?” Louis bent down, caressing the side of the shaking tan head, fingers lingering desperately as Zayn attempted to shrug away from his touch. The tremors still caressed his body like an everpresent coat of nerves that he didn’t seem to be able to shed.

“Making you mad at me. for fighting. For choosin writing over you. For loving you.” the admission sounded false even to his own ears, the lie of his regret for his love but it didn’t stop the way it made Louis pause, clenching down on his bottom lip to stop the stem of apologies. Because if anyone should be sorry it should be them, for mentally marring such a sensitive soul until it was warped by the hands of people that promised to love and cherish him.

“Oh love, oh darling little one. We’re the ones who should be sorry. Only us. Your stupid stubborn idiot boys who hurt you.” Louis hummed, running a hand through his dark tufts of hair as he rinsed the shampoo out, reaching for a towel and holding it out. Zayn glanced up at him, a pink flush creeping up his neck and Louis wanted to coo at the sudden glash of bashfulness but he knew that he couldn’t overwhelm Zayn with emotions, not yet. Instead he simply turned his face and shut his eyes so tight they started to hurt, but he diligently stayed in that position until he felt the small hands tug at the towel and let it go to step back. Niall watched as thseemingly fragile like waif of a boy wrapped it around his waist and let Nial reached over, to thread their fingers together, trying not to let the flinch strike his heart. He didn’t like to see Zayn afraid of him, all of them had fought so hard to show Zayn the real them, show him they weren’t really the revered and imposing tough figureheads the school made them out to be, at least not to anyone. Not anyone they cared about.

“Let’s get you dressed in something warm and tucked away, yeah?” he declared but in the softest tone he could manage, only about to watch as Zayn reverted back into that impossibly shy figure that shied away from them all, still sniffling under his breath every few seconds.

Harry approached them tentatively, holding out a pair of clothes that he had dug out from behind one of the shelves, fresh from the laundry and warm to the touch just how he knew Zayn loved them.

“Hey, why are you still crying love? Dry those tears.” Harry whispered, tugging the sweater sleeves as he moved his limbs like a doll, Zayn’s eyes glazed as he shivered everytime Harry’s hands so much as skimmed over his skin. “Hurt. Hurts alot.” he mumbled, letting Harry pull the sweater over his head so that it settled over one shoulder, the other hanging loosely over his slim frame since Liam’s shoulder set was much wider.

“What hurt? Where? Did you fall? Do you need some medicine?” Harry’s keen eyes skimmed over his limbs, trailing down his arms and even turning him so that he could pursue his cute but safe bum.

“My heart. Hurts. I miss you.” his words still slurring as he finally finally glanced up to meet Harry’s eyes, reaching out to shakily clasp Harry’s neck and pull him closer until their foreheads were pressed together and Zayn’s breathing settled into a more steady heaving as Harry reached out to pat his back, free hand gripping his hip tight, reassuring and possessive.

“I know. We hurt you. We hurt your heart, didn’t we?” Harry mumbled, kneading the dimples at the base of Zayn’s spine, harder and harder with each swipe, reveling in the feeling of Zayn gently unwinding with each press until he was relaxed in his arms, as pliant as he could hope for in this situation.

“Yeah. You hurt me lots. Broke my heart.” the mumbled confession had Harry hanging his head. He knew what they had done, but to hear it, to actually hear the agony that tore through Zayn’s throat as he admitted it, admitted that they boys who were crazy about him and swore up and down that he was safe were the ones to tear his whole world down along with everything he’s ever wanted. They gave him a glimpse of the life he could have and took it away so cruelly.

“Because we’re so so stupid.” Liam murmured softly, stepping into the room with a bowl of soup and something they all recognised easily, the stuffed animal that Zayn had grown invariably attached to. It was insignificant to them, a vague toy that Louis had one Zayn on one of their first few dates out but he loved it upon sight. When they asked him his answer surprised them all. “It’s the first present I’ve gotten since I lost my parents. It’s the first present I can remember.” and they all made sure that they made up for nearly sixteen years of no presents.

“Come on love, eat this for me?” Liam asked, kneeling in front of where Harry had sat Zayn on the bed, legs pulled up to sit cross cross and trying to hide under the flap of the hood.

“Why?” he asked, glancing up at each and every one of them.

“Why what babe? Why do we want you to eat?” Niall asked, cocking his head as Zayn shook his head, almost violently as he reverted back into a more childlike state of mind, seeming every bit the little kid that he was and it was times like this that they were thrown back in remembering that Zayn was younger then them, two or three years younger. He was still a little boy in their eyes, but it never really occurred to him the extent of their age gap until they saw him like this, vulnerable and stripped any facade.

“Why did you burn my book? Was my writing th-that bad? Did me being distracted make you that angry?”

“No!”

“Ofcourse not!”

“Oh Zayn.” Louis sighed, nudging the rest of them closer to the bed and sitting down beside Zayn, pulling him into his lap and trying to ignore how stiff he had gone.

“We were absolute pricks. Spoiled brats who didn’t like it when their shiny toy was taken away from them. It was all our fault love. We love your writing, we haven’t read it but we assume that it is brilliant, coming from your brilliant mind. We’re so sorry we burnt it. We’re sorry that we yelled at you and we’re sorry for ignoring your for so long. We’re sorry for breaking your lovely big heart and making you cry. We’re sorry you doubted that we loved you because we could never say it.” he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he forced Zayn’s eyes to his, to look at him the way he needed him to, to show him that they well and truly did love him.

“And We know we pushed you away, we hurt you and broke your heart and made you cry and that was absolutely the last thing we wanted to do. But we did it and we’re so so sorry.”

“Our words wont make things right, not at all. And we want to make it right, to make it up to you. Because we love you.” Niall said, climbing onto the bed to sit behind Louis, cupping Zayn’s face tenderly, the glare that Zayn remembered so vividly flashing in his memories when Niall was simply giving a soft sad smile, knowing why Zayn flinched.

“Never again Zayn, we will never hurt you again.” he whispered his fierce promise as Zayn unwillingly started nodding off, the mix of more alcohol than he could handle and the warmth that was supplied from his the bath and their close proximity nudging him further toward sleep.

“Are you tired babe? We’ll let you sleep.” Liam hummed, picking him up with an ease that sent an aching plea through Zayn’s body, begging to stay in Liam’s hold, in all of their holds where it felt more at home than he had known in years. But he remained in his dazed half sleep, barely aware anymore as the others arranged him on the bed, tugging the covers up to his shoulders and loosely bunching it on either side of him where he could grab a fistful easily. Louis and Niall were hovering, fluffing his pillows in an effort to delay their departure but when they couldn’t delay it anymore they attempted to get up, only to have slim tan fingers wrapping around their wrists and a pitiful whine that slipped from chapped gaping lips.

“Please.” Zayn pleaded, wide eyed and trembling chin as he tightened his grip and looked at them all.

“Please what Zayn?” Louis asked, crouching by the bed to caress his fragile delicate face, seeming so much smaller under his large rough palm.

“Stay. D-don’t leave tonight.” the tears welling again when they all looked unsure. It was the pout that they had never been able to refuse, except this was so upsetting, no longer playful but desperate and scared of abandonment that he had already suffered.

“Always. As long as you want us.” Niall promised, crawling under the covers once he kicked off his jeans and shoes, arms locking around Zayn’s waist in the most comforting hold, pulling him so the tan boy lay on his chest, head pressed to the crook of his neck. Liam came around the other side and nudged Louis next to Zayn so he could scoot in beside him, Harry taking the space right behind Niall, all of them reaching out to make sure a part of them was touching Zayn, the atmosphere around them finally at peace for the first time in nearly weeks as they watched Zayn drop off and followed along not soon after, praying that they would wake up and it wouldn’t all be a dream.

<><><><><>

It didn’t seem like too much to hope for, the small body tucked in their midst, but it seemed to prove too much for their fate because as soon as they woke up the petite lad who they had all clung to like a life raft was now  empty and the room was once again falling into a dark deep place that seemed to cling to them, a mixture of extreme guilt and an aching pain because it was no one else’s fault but their own.

“What else can we do? We told him we loved him, we tried to pamper him with affection and show him that we meant it when we said it. I’m so lost.” Liam groaned a few hours later once they were all awake. and left alone to sulk in their own spaces, licking invisible wounds that seemed more self inflicted and masochistic.

“We’ve given him times, we’ve tried to seek him out and make him talk to us, we were gentle, what else is left? Do we have to tie him up and make him listen until it sinks in?” Louis grunted, falling into Niall’s lap, the blonde pressing a gentle kiss to the space under his ear.

“Do you really think that you’ve done anywhere near enough for him to stay longer than necessary? Let alone forgive you and let himself love you?You guys don’t get it, do you? ” a foreign voice scoffed, prompting all of them to dart to their feet an face the intruder, coming face to face with Danny, clad in a pair of dark sweats and a random sweater but still an intimidation lurking in his eyes. Their arms crossed as their eyes fell on him, the hair that was pulled back under the snapback and the swift icy glare that aimed right at the boys who returned the look. This was the boy that their little boyfriend was choosing over them, had chosen over them. He was lucky they weren’t kicking his ass for even having the balls to show up on their doorstep.

“What the fuck do you want Riach? Haven’t you fucking done enough?” Liam growled, the muscles in his arms bulging as he glared at the dark eyed man who dared face off with them.

“Me? What the fuck have I done except try to fucking fix the shit mess that you created.” sending Liam back a step as he uncrossed his arms and used the other to shove Liam away with a flick of his wrist.

“Who the fuck do you think you are? Fucking dark skinned asshole coming into our house and shoving him when you’re part of the reason that the fucking guy we love won’t come home. You’re so fucking lucky we don’t kick your ass right now.” Harry growled, towering over Zayn’s friend who didn’t back down under the harsh glare.

“I’m the guy who’s trying to help you ungrateful fuckers get your Zayn back, although I don’t know why I’m fucking bothering because you guys don’t deserve someone like him.” he hissed, getting in Harry’s face as the younger boy stepped back in surprise.

“You what? You’re trying to help us? Why?” Louis asked, stepping in between the two glaring boys, looking right at Danny skeptically.

“It’s not something I actually approve of, this whole fucking relationship is ten different shades of fucked up. But you assholes were the first people to actually make Zayn feel loved, for the first time in his whole fucking life. Since he was young and his parents died he’s been shuffled from one foster home and orphanages to different ones, one crappy ass family to the next. Never has anyone actually taken the time to get to know him or even say the words I love. You may not have said the words but he fucking felt it.” Danny took a deep breath, clenching his fists tighter as he glared at each of them, making sure they knew his hatred of him from that look.

“And then you bastards break through his fucking walls and filled him with love and affection and told him he was amazing and smart and then you fucking took it all away like the cruel fuckers you are and now he feels like nothing. You fucking too away everything away and you tainted the one fucking thing he had to himself. I don’t know how you can even think about justifying that but you cant. You’ve proper wrecked him and no matter how hard I try to put the pieces back together I can’t. You have no idea the extent of the damage you’ve caused. What you saw last night was only the tiniest of glimpses of what you’ve reduced him to.” he was practically shouting at them by the end of his tirade and the boys couldn’t pretend not to care, didn’t bother with their intimidating masks as they thought of their little Zayn tear stained face as they abandoned him, completely shut him out of what he had grown accustomed to and it made them all flinch.

“Yeah, you fucked up. You fucked up real bad.” Danny said, the anger in his voice waning as he pulled off the cap to run his fingers through the knotted greasy hair that they boys glimpsed. He looked proper knackered but they assumed it was from taking care of their Zayn, and it didn’t help their tempers.

“Then why are you here? If it’s such a lost case then why are you bothering to try and help us? Don’t raise our hopes if it’s that fucking hopeless.” Niall grumbled, shouldering his way into the gathering only to have hands twisting in the front of his shirt and slamming him against a wall, steaming brown eyes, so different from Liam’s, yet glaring with the same intensity he had seen his boyfriend give to others.

“Don’t you fucking dare give up. Don’t fucking run away because you’re afraid you’ll get your hopes up only to get rejected by him. Because that’s the same thing you did to Zayn. You raised his fucking hopes and ruined any chances of him being happy with anyone else. Now what you and your pussy ass boyfriends are going to do is put on some nice tuxedos, make yourself look like the proper bred pieces of shit you are, get down to the Grand Ave Hotel by 8 because that’s where Zayn is going to be tonight, for a party in his honor for his short stories and you are going to support him. Got it?” Danny hissed, clenching the blonde boy’s shirt even tighter.

“Oi, get the fuck off him.” Harry shouted, grabbing Danny’s shoulders and throwing him back to wrap an arm around Niall’s waist and hold him to his side.

“Can’t you guys get this through your head? After last night Zayn is unsure now. He doesn’t know what to think. This is the perfect time to go and try to convince him that you are truly sorry and will try and make it up to him. Before he was angry and trying to become someone else so that it wouldn’t hurt as bad. Now he’s just in this state of mind where he’s not fucking sure of anything.”

“Why the fuck are you helping us if you’re so against our relationship, and us in general?” Louis asked aggressively poking Danny in the chest.

“Because he’s not ready to let you go. And I’m tired of seeing him so upset. He’s never met people and gotten attached, not since he was six and at his first foster home where they separated him and his sisters. That’s a long time to be alone. And as much as I hate to admit it, he needs you as much as you need him. So don’t fuck this up again. Not because I’ll fuck you up, but because it will absolutely kill Zayn more than you already have. If you’re not absolutely one hundred percent sure, don’t bother coming and send his stuff to my house. But as much as I hate to admit it, I hope he sees you there.” Danny said, with a heavy sigh as he nodded stiffly at them, dropping an envelope on the table beside the front door before he closed to door behind himself with a resounding thud, leaving them all speechlessly glancing back and forth at each other in uncertainty.

"Louis, what are we going to do?" Harry asked, reaching out for his older boyfriend’s hand, asking for reassurance.

"Is that even a question? We’re going to go after him. That’s what we’ve been trying to do these past few weeks." Niall nearly shouted, already striding to the closet in search of something to wear.

"Wait Niall. How are we going to do things? Are we going to go and just storm in their and get on our knees? What are we even going to say? What if he doesn’t even give us the time of day?" Harry fretted as Louis and Liam simply sat there in their own thoughts.

"Hey, do you guys remember the first time we had Zayn over here?" Louis asked quietly, running a slim hand through his hair as he got up, dropping Niall’s hand in exchange for getting lost in his own memories, wandering into the kitchen.

_“We should have gone to pick him up. Why would we let him take the bus? What if he gets lost?” Harry paced the length of the living room, repeatedly stopping to glance at the time before resuming his frantic worrying. Liam and Louis watched him, amused at the obvious flustered state he was working himself into_

_“Harry, fucking calm your tits and pick your fucking balls off the floor. Jesus Christ, when did you turn into a tremblin teenage girl?” Niall shouted from the kitchen, where he was working on snacks, barring them from his space because they were ‘useless sacks of shit’. Atleast those were his words._

_“You weren’t calling me a trembling teenage girl when you were begging for my cock the other night you little fucking slut.” Harry shot right back, stopping in his tracks to glare at the other two, a dangerous pout on his lips, indication that he was going to throw a fit if they didn’t do something._

_“Harry, sit your ass down and grab a beer. He’s going to come, and he’s not going to get lost because I gave him directions and the best bus routes to get directly here and he promised to call if he got lost.” Liam reached up and latched onto Harry’s arm, until the taller boy was tucked into his side, his legs trapped under Liam’s thigh and hands mussing his neatly done hair._

_“Dick.” Harry hissed, but letting himself lax into Liam’s arms, kicking his feet up into Louis’s lap who simply moved his arms to accommodate the long limbs, eyes trained on his phone._

_Another twenty minutes passed and the rest of them were slowly becoming more subconsciously worried, glancing at their phones every few seconds, debating on whether they got stood up or Zayn might be in trouble._

_“Alright, five more minutes and if he isn’t here we’re going to look for him.” not even waiting a few seconds after Liam’s declaration was Zayn’s knock on the door, sending all of them barreling toward the door but Louis beating them all, adjusting his rumpled shirt and hair before opening the door was a lazy grin. Zayn stood on the doorstep, hand clenched on the shoulder strap of a sports bag and a tentative grin on his face._

_“Took you long enough babe.” reaching out for the smaller lad’s hand to gently pull him in out of the open. Liam reached over, taking his heavy bag off his narrow shoulder and tossing it to the side in favor of lifting him up for a hug, laughing at the squeak he emitted, narrow dainty hands going to his shoulders to hold onto._

_“Leeyum, put me down.” he whined, laughing at the fingers that dug into his sides._

_“Mm, no I don’t think so. Your feet shouldn’t have to touch the floor with us around.” handing him off the Harry who played along and kept his feet from touching the floor, arms looped around his waist, distracting Zayn with the way his biceps bulged and muscles moved as he flexed._

_“This is ridiculous. Why are you guys acting like we’re meeting after years apart? I just saw you guys the other day.” Zayn huffed, wiggling as Harry handed him off to Niall while Louis reached to cup his face, forcing his gaze to go from the floor to those cyan tinted irises, warmth radiating from them when usually they were in a dead glare, leaning forward so that his lips were ghosting over Zayn’s, a shiver trailing up his spine as he realized Louis was waiting, for a yes or no. And he reacted, pressing forward so that their lips connected and he could feel the warm bubbling in his gut, spreading throughout his chest._

_“We are allowed to shower you in affection as your boyfriends.” Louis murmured when he pulled away, giving him a bright impish grin that took the harshness away from his features almost immediately._

_“Yeah, and you’re our baby now. We no longer need Harry.” Niall chortled as Harry gave him a highly affronted look._

_“Hey…not nice Ni.” he whined, shedding the scowl in exchange for a pout that had Zayn automatically reaching over to try and smooth away, not wanting to see any of them frown, even in jest. Harry’s eyes softened and he caught his hand, pressing a kiss to the palm. Liam grinned, throwing an arm around Niall’s shoulder who finished the circle, making Zayn blush and try to refuse the group hug but they drowned him in, until he was touching each of them and they in turn were brushing against their other boyfriends, calm and not trying to take it any further. Zayn tensed, but relaxed as their gentle grip reassured him of safety, a grip he hadn’t felt his entire life, a smile growing on his lax lips  and for once he wasn’t looking over his shoulders for the fastest way to make an exit or something to defend himself with. He just let himself feel. And all he felt was love._

"We doted him in affection and tried to make him smile but we didn’t even try to understand his writing. We shouldn’t have abandoned him. We should have brought him food and urged him to go to bed when it got too late, bought him new pages for his book and taken care of him." Louis muttered, more to himself as he glanced around the house that had felt too empty the past few days.

"Yeah. But he should have told us what to expect, he should have atleast noticed that we were confused and tried to reassure us that he was still with us. We’re only human." Harry butted into Louis’s thoughts and his space as he wormed into his arms, Niall and Liam having gone off to get them some proper attire.

"We couldn’t even tell him we loved him. Look, if he takes us back we have to change things."

"There’s no if Louis. Perk up and go wash up. We’re going to go and win back that small little twat and make love to him until he can feel our love, now go. No more negative thoughts." Louis ushered him out of the room with a slap on his rear, laughing for the first time in the last few tense weeks as Louis scowled and flipped him off. There was an almost giddy sense in his aura at the very thought of getting Zayn back, of holding their little babe and kissing him and him hopefully returning the gesture. He was looking forward to the serenity that came with four smiling loved up faces instead of a whole mess of heartbreak and betrayal.

A few hours later they were all scrubbed and shaved, all unsightly tattoos and piercings covered and taken out as they were pimped out to completely different people.

"This is fucking weird." Niall grumbled, thumbing across his bottom lip where he usually had his snakebite piercings protruding but now there were only two holes that his tongue kept running over.

"No fucking duh." Harry sighed, tugging on the sleeves of his overcoat so that they covered the trail of tattoos that snaked down his arms, his growing hair covering the ones that crept above the collar.

"Oi, stop complaining you pricks." Louis reprimanded, smacking them both in the back of their heads, attempting to flatten the collar and resist himself from running his hands through his neat pompous hairdo, feeling every bit the aristocrat that his parents raised him to be and hating every bit of it.

"It’s for Zayn, so all of you shut the fuck up." Liam chimed in from the drivers seat, looking dapper with his hair slicked back and the horribly overgrown facial hair hacked off to reveal a clean smooth face, just like Louis, all of them in different styles of tuxes but looking like the society breds that their parents had always tried to force on them.

"Right, I’ve got the tickets for the show. Can it be considered a show?" Harry asked, tilting his head and scrunching his eyebrows in a way that Niall would have normally found entirely too endearing and even kissed him senseless but right now with all the erratic anxiety that wasn’t the first thought.  
"Look, the plan is not to attract attention to yourself. We’re going to go in there and be polite, mingle, talk all while keeping an eye out for Zayn. And then we are going to be nice and not cause a scene as we wait for an opportunity where he isn’t talking to someone to go up to him. If he runs away, we don’t follow. Wait for him to come to us, got it?" Louis rehashed, looking up from buckling his watch to his boyfriends who nodded, nervously twiddling their thumbs or biting lips.  
"Look lads, I have a good feeling about this. Everything will be alright, okay?" reaching over the head divide to put a hand on Liam’s tense shoulders, free arm going around Niall’s waist and Niall’s arms wrapping around Harry.

<><><><><><>

It was like a flashback straight into their youths, the stuffy parties where everyone was overdressed, holding flutes of wine with blank disinterested looks on their faces. It was a past that they were determined not to make their future but the fates played and toyed with their emotions until they were right back to the beginning, like a game of monopoly, but Zayn was home.

"Okay split up." Louis whispered, taking Niall’s hand and nudging him to the left while Harry and Liam covered the right, falling into the personas that their fathers had forced them into, pleasant, serene, harsh language falling in exchange for posh clear and distinct words that were clipped at the ends to give an air of intelligence.

 ”There.” Niall muttered into the sleeve of his cuff, eyes darting to Louis’s right so the petite lad glanced over, feeling the simultaneous relief and exhiliration as he laid eyes on his little boyfriend, watching as he cruised through the crowds, a cup of something that may have looked like champagne but he knew for a fact that it was most likely ginger ale with the way Zayn used it as a distraction, because the smaller boy would never drink it as much as he was if it was alcohol. 

He knew Niall was still trying to maintain an air of their pretense but he was still staring at Zayn, the way his suit seemed to fit him better than any of the clothes he had been wearing recently, darkest of blacks that seemed to make his skin tone look like a deeper hue of gold, hair swept back and off to one side in a near tucked quiff, and he was wearing his glasses, the thick frames perched on his petite nose, constantly slipping to the edge as he listened to what the people were saying around him, but Louis could see the disinterest, the twitching in his fingers that spoke volumes of his desire to escape from the eyes that seemed to follow him.

"Patience Lou." Niall reassured, pressing his thumb into the crook of Louis’s arm to grab his attention and focus. It took all of their combined resolve to stay hidden, simply waiting for the right moment to spring up.

"Excuse me, if I could have your attention." the lights dimmed subtly as a slim woman with a sleek hairstyle, someone obviously important stepped up, tapping her glass in such a pretentious way that Harry was tempted to throw his fork at her.

"Thank you. Now as you all know we’re here to honor an incredibly talented young man. He has shown great potential and ingenuity that we perceived fully from his pieces of work that embodied a struggle that we followed eagerly with each new issue. And it is thanks to this young man that our sales have rocketed with each issue, as he appealed to a younger crowd that seem enamored with his characters. Now can we please give a well earned round of applause to Zayn Malik and his well earned Valued Writer award from the editor in chief for recognition of his work, the first award to ever be given." the room lighting up with a spattering of applause as they parted for the petite teenager who gave them a shy uncomfortable grin, taking the plaque that the posh woman offered with a kiss to the cheek and a wave.

"Um, I didn’t think I had to give a speech, so I was just going to recite a poem. Bare with me, I’m absolute rubbish at poetry.  I"m sorry to any poet that I’m going to offend just in advance. This poem I actually write…actually a few hours ago. Just like the story that I’ve written has come to an end, a certain story that was written for my life is coming to it’s own end."

_Free fall down into the unknown_   
_give you my heart and relinquish my soul_   
_it’s best for what life shall bestow_   
_so I take a big step in the unknown_   
  
_Never look back, for this is the choice_   
_don’t question myself, and keep my mind poised_   
_take a look up, thank god and rejoice_   
_because the truth is, I know I made the right choice_   
  
_So I follow the path and forget the past_   
_this devotion and emotion, I’ll make sure it lasts_   
_with passion so wide and a love so vast_   
_pain and sadness will be things of the past_

"And, I hopes this really awful poem can portray the feeling that I had when I started this journey and after I ended it. It’s been a whirlwind, ups and downs, anxiety and elation because people seemed to like what I’ve written, even though I didn’t sometimes. But thank you for believing and supporting me when the people I loved most didn’t. Thank you to my Professor who submitted my work, to my editor for her harshly supportive words. And to the very loves of my life who inspired my words, I know that you’re here and…I do love you. I love you and I know that you love me too and hopefully that will be enough of a reminder when I can’t give you everything all the time. Thank you to everyone." he finished softly, his eyes flitting around the crowds, a warmth they had so missed reigniting as he smiled at them, that smile that crinkled at the corners of his eyes and in the middle of his brows, those lips pulling up until it overtook his face and it was reassuring.

But they waited until he had walked through the crowds of people that patted him on the backs in congratulations, nodding or saying soft shy thank yous before he was in front of his boys. All of the unsaid things left in between them, a rift that seemed as far and wide as a gorge but Zayn simply took a step closer into the barriers of their arms.

"You guys look ridiculous." he hummed softly, the fan of eyelashes catching gently against each other as his eyes looked them over critically, a faint smirk threatening the false serious mask.

"And here I thought we looked dapper and quite charming, trying to impress you of course." Harry drawled, his words a far cry from his eyes that were apprehensively watching Zayn’s reaction.

"Yeah, but I like the way you normally look, half dressed in tattered dirty sweats and jeans. I like when you look like my boys." his last words so faint as the achingly familiar blush spread over his already rosy cheeks, the endearing way he wouldn’t meet their eyes and fidgeted with his plaque, all of them wanting nothing more than to wrap him in their empty embrace, grip him tight before he flitted away.

"Oh love, we are so so sorr-" Niall’s guilt ridden apology cut off as a dainty hand adorned with too big chunky rings pressed over his lips, the smell of freesias and white tea, mixed with coconuts wrapping around his senses from the one firm touch and he had lost track of his words.

"I know. I heard what you were trying to tell me last night and I remember. We still have a lot to talk about but if you want to make this work again I need you to know that this is a part of me. These moments where I go off and need my space, or when I get lost in my head. It’s how I write, it’s how I cope, and I need you guys to be okay with that and to be able to talk to me and tell me when you miss me or need me instead of freezing me out." Zayn said, setting the plaque down on a nearby table and stepping back so he could watch each of them properly, the serious look returning to his face as he waited, shifting from one foot to the other.

“Zayn, we love you. All of us. We were complete bloody assholes for doing that to you and we will be making it up to you forever. We want to make it work, only if you’ll take us back.” Liam said, walking forward until he was right in front of Zayn, reaching forward to cup his face, thumbs stroking the tender warm skin as those eyes watched his every move with tender melted ochre eyes and he just fell in love everytime he looked at them.

“Ofcourse. There’s nothing I wanted more than to be with you guys.” Zayn’s words were the glue that put them back together, as he reached out for Louis and Niall, Liam’s arms intertwining with Harry’s waist, until their arms were melded and everyone could take an almost literal sigh of relief as Zayn’s head was nestled in their midst and it wasn’t perfect because they still had a way to go but it was enough for them at that moment.


End file.
